The Ecstasy and the Agony - Part IV

And now the part I know you've all been waiting for - my complete recap of Top Model. And I must tell you - this was one of the best episodes ever! But the ending was of course sad.

To begin this week, the girls are not so much missing Gina, but they do all agree that Jade was pretty much a bitch to her. Also Nnenna's drama with her boyfriend continues. Jade "helpfully" suggests that Nnenna try to salvage the relationship, but it's a ruse because she thinks the boyfriend trouble will get Nnnenna "out of the game."

The girls meet Tyra, they start talking, and Tyra faints in the most fake way ever. Seriously, Paris Hilton could have been more convincing. But the girls kind of buy it, and then Tyra says it's just to show them that you have to commit to a part, because this is acting lesson week. Hilariously, Furonda was actually UPSET because she thought it was real. These girls need some real heroes.

Anywho, step 1 of acting class this week is at The Groundlings. They do various improvisation games, and it spurs the first two awesome moments. The coach is asking them to mull about and portray various things he shouts out, and when he says, "Janice Dickinson!" Furonda starts slurring her words and falls on the floor "drunk." AWESOME. After that I forgave her for the fainting cry situation. Then later Jade is laughing while others are acting. The coach shuns her saying, "Sometimes Jade, it's NOT all about you." Preach on, brother!

Step 2 of acting class takes the girls to meet Nick Cannon (of Drumline) who has an improv show of his own. Seriously? Anyway, the girls do more improv games with him, the challenge being to see who is ultimately the funniest. Mollie Sue does well, Furonda is OK. But Jade sucks yet again. In an awesome moment, they do the Questions improv, where you answer every question with another question. Jade proceeds to only be able to come up with statements, and the clever editors put a big red X over her mouth, with "Not a question!" beneath her. When she cusses, it becomes "DEFINITELY not a question." Then in an interview, she's talking about it, and ends up using a lot of questions unknowingly. Again, the clever editors ding a green "Question" under her each time. It's hard to describe, but I assure you it was awesome, and I was laughing my ass off.

At this point, Jade can't cope, so she just starts insulting the other girls in a Rap improv. Fortunately she's put in her place by the likes of Sara and Furonda. Furonda is chosen as winner, so she gets two prizes. First she appears in a PSA for HIV testing and prevention, and she chooses Nnenna to join her. Not much to say, except they both did well, and I think that Nnenna being of African birth was important to an anti-AIDS message. Then Furonda got a bit part as a school secretary on Veronica Mars. I was kind of happy for her, but after awhile it was becoming The Furonda Show, which was tired, and I kept being reminded that indeed she does look like Flavor Flav with long hair.

Instead of a photo shoot, the girls each have to film a 30-second spot for Cover Girl. They are given two lines and then told to improvise their entrance before that. And they only get two takes.

None of them do really well, although Nnenna thought she did, and her cool confidence is starting to irritate others, and possibly me. Mollie Sue forgets her lines, Brooke can't improv shit, and Jade is a hot mess. Sara, Leslie and Furonda both do well right until the end. Joanie looks a bit stoned? And Danielle appears to be auditioning to guest star in My Fair Lady as Eliza Doolittle - she needs to work on that accent of hers.

At the judging panel, there is no mini-challenge (after all, we had to spend 20 minutes on the wonder that is Furonda), so it's straight to viewing the commercials. Sadly for her, Jade's best take is the one where she forgets the lines and swears. Nice.

9 beautiful girls, 8 photos. You will be not at all shocked to learn that the bottom two are Jade and Mollie Sue. (Mollie Sue had 3 interviews in the first 10 minutes - that's your tip-off. Pay attention!) So do they keep a girl with good bone structure who is sucking badly? Or keep the redhead who seems nice but never really delivers in the final challenge? And super sad ending - they keep fucking Jade. Poor faux Mia Farrow! I shall miss you, mostly because as you put it, "I can't believe they kept Jade over me." Yes, Mollie Sue - that is the final insult. But this is Tyra's freakfest of drama, and that means Jade gets to stay at least until the final four. At least we can have fun watching at home.

Next week - the girls do a little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk...