October 31, 2007

Models Save The Earth

When we last left the girls of Top Model, we learned that being the week's narrator is a bad, bad thing. Janet was sent off to work on her Liza With a Z impression, while Ambreal remained to teach us how to dance The Robot. Who will be eliminated...TONIGHT?

Ebony talks with Jenah, and tries to figure out how to get less criticism. She decides she needs to smile more. Meanwhile, Ambreal tells her dad that what she needs is prayer. True dat. And Bianca tries to help Heather a bit, by suggesting she do a shoot with all face-on shots.

Jenah then goes to answer the door and it's Tyson Beckford. It's funny because she's so flabbergasted, she just kind of stands in his way in the door. Hee!

Tyson gathers them together to talk about being a spokesmodel. Truth told? He's really not much for offering good advice. Not that the girls pay attention anyway - they are giggling like 12 year-olds. Anywho, he tells them to get a product from the kitchen and "sell it." His techinque appears to be selling it in the sluttiest way possible. Which naturally the girls are happy to do when playing off him as a partner. He's rather fond of Heather's wine glass, and takes a bite out of Ambreal's mango (NOT a sexual euphemism, even if it sounds like it). You'll be shocked to hear that Ebony just kind of doesn't do much and tries to grin her way through it. *sigh* I'm tiring of her.

Moving on, the girls go meet Tyson again, where he tells them about their challenge for the week. They will be breaking into groups of 3, and coming up with a 30-second PSA for Keep A Child Alive - an organization that provides emergency funding to AIDS clinics throughout Africa. You have 30 minutes. Go!

Sarah, Ebony and Saleisha get really excited as they hit upon their idea. But Ambreal, Heather and Jenah struggle to come up with a concept (they appear to be a group of analytical thinkers). Bianca quickly comes up with an idea, and Lisa and Chantal latch on and run with it. Now let's see those PSAs!

Bianca's group starts strong with a hear/see/speak no evil concept. But then Bianca totally boffs all her lines, and it ends up looking pretty shitty. Jenah's group does rather well with an INXS-drop-a-bunch-of-signs concept, although one of them drops and is REALLY loud. Sarah's group is a strong feminist concept. It was my favorite.

When it's time to hear the results, the director lady actually liked Jenah's group best, as Sarah's group made a mistake in the facts they listed. So the group gets some fancy body products from Carol's Daughter, and a random draw will choose the one big winner...which is Heather! And get this - she'll go directly to a photo shoot for Carol's Daughter, where the artistic director will be Mary J. Blige! Hott.

Although we learn that the extent of Mary's "direction" is like, "Um, I guess that dress might work." Regardless, Heather does a nice job with the shoot and gets some practice with those face-on shots. Then Heather gets to sit down with Mary J a bit, and then gets the most awkward hug ever. Um...weird. I think Tyra totally put her up to this as a favor collected or something.

Heather comes back to the house, and there is actually very little jealousy. Instead, the girls are all eating together and focusing on the fact that Ebony drops this bomb - she wants to go home. Dun-dun-dun! She now thinks modeling isn't for her. And she's homesick. In other words, the quitter excuses we hear season after season. Ugh! What is your deal, Ebony? Also, Bianca practices smiling with her eyes. No, it wasn't exciting when you were watching it, either. But we do find out that Bianca sees Heather as her biggest competition. Hmm, what's my response to that? Oh yes. DUH!

Time for the photo shoot, where the girls (getting back to the Al Gore green theme) will portray recyclable products. Heather does her whole photo shoot face-on (as Bianca suggested), and OJ is blown away. Saleisha gets a little restless and almost tears down her whole set! Ebony...does a whole lotta nothing. When OJ asks her what's up, she gives her usual trite response. Dude, this girl is toast. Conversely, he's impressed that Jenah really seems to be listening, absorbing, learning and getting better every week. Bianca smiles with her eyes. And apparently the world comes to a stop or something. Ambreal...dead in the face and just about everywhere else. I'm just not sure this thing is for her, honestly.

Panel! Prizes. Judges. Guest judge is Tyson. And Nigel tries one of Ms. J's afro wigs and it's silly. Did I mention that Ms. J is wearing an afro wig in increasing size each week? Odd, but better than those neck ruffles last cycle. Let us be judgemental!

Saleisha is getting better, and gives good face as "car parts." I'm not sold on the body, though.

Jenah is a stunner as "cardboard!" The judges can't get enough.

Ambreal is newspapers and looks like she's asleep. She tries to explain it away, but you can tell the judges are like..."You're done."

Lisa portrays plastic bottles, and just didn't nail it this time. She still has nice legs, but it's like she went back to the same pose she did in week 2.

Bianca is smiling with her eyes as "oil" but her stiff arm in the front of the shot gets critcized. Good, but not as good as Jenah.

Sarah gives an interesting fashion pose as garbage bags. Then strangely, the Nigel points out AGAIN that he thinks she's losing weight. Maybe just a touch, but I really don't think it's noticeable. And it's sad, because I so think they are going to kick her out for this bizarre reason.

Ebony's shot is ass. In fact, she has a snarl in her mouth. What's really sad? This was her best "bubble wrap" shot. Imagine how bad the others were! It's like she's just trying to go home every way she can.

Chantal's shot is really cool in my opinion, with her hair tossed in the air and shredded paper flying around her. But Tyson says too much of her face is missing. Except he's wrong! So says me!

Heather gives a really strong face-on shot as aluminum cans. Twiggy is thrilled to see it, and Tyra mentions that now Heather should have confidence that she can nail any shot.

The judges deliberate. They really just say the same things, and it's already apparent who the bottom two will be, so let's hop to it.

9 beautiful ladies, 8 photos. And the first photo goes to...Saleisha? Seriously? I mean, she was better, but no way she was better than Jenah or Heather. Middle of the pack if you ask me. But anyway, the other photos go to Jenah, Heather, Bianca, Sarah, Chantal, and Lisa. Will Ambreal and Ebony please step forward?

Ambreal, you have yet to prove that you are not in fact one of the living dead when on a photo set. Ebony, you know how to model, but you just sucked it. And now...the drama!

Tyra reveals the photo is for Ebony. Barely missing a beat, Ebony says that in fact she would like to go home. She has trouble getting the words out, as she keeps breaking into (crocodile!) tears. With a smile, Tyra says, "You know what I think is not for you? People telling you what to do. The most unattractive thing in the world to me is a quitter. And for that, you may go." Slam! I mean, I know Tyra HAD to have known this was coming (producers do talk to each other), but still. Damn. Jenah gets her biggest bug eyes yet!

Thus Tyra tells Ambreal that she has received a reprieve. Ambreal cries and thanks God and her lucky stars and so forth. Will this be the break she needs? Or will she continue to demonstrate that she thinks modeling is only from the neck down? (I'm putting my money on the latter.)

As a poignant moment to close the show (or perhaps as a stick-it-to-her and fuck-you moment), the editors throw in Ebony's audition tape where she just BEGS to get picked for the show. And to think we could have had the half-blind bartender girl from Boston instead of her!

Next week - a clip show. Bleh. But the week after - the girls do a music video! It will be just like Josie and the Pussycats, I'll bet. And a girl gets sick! Yep, I've already written out the whole plot in my head - the girls whisper that Sarah isn't eating enough, then she gets sick, then she's eliminated for not being plus-sized enough. Lame, but likely!

Actually we're at the halfway point(ish), so let's go with my predictions for how the rest of the season plays out. I predict that Ambreal lasts two weeks at best (because she just can't do this), and Sarah around the same time for a stupid reason. Next to go will be Saleisha and Chantal, who will both be kicked for "being inconsistent." That leaves a final four of Heather, Jenah, Bianca and Lisa. As much as I adore Jenah, I predict she will have something horrible happen in a photo shoot or commercial, and will be let go. Then Bianca will be sent home to allow for a two nice girls finale. Lisa and Heather battle it out on the runway, and Heather wins!

* Note - I have no prior knowledge of what's going to happen, and I wouldn't go to Vegas on my predictions. In fact, there's a good chance I'll be wrong!

What are your predictions?

1 comment:

ScottE. said...

I enjoyed the shredded paper shot as well...great movement. Heather's was nice as well. I'd like to see Heather make the final three. I'd hope she can nail the whole thing.