Bald Is Beautiful

When we last left the Top Model girls, there was some girl...I forgot her name... Well, whatever. *shrug*

Let's get right down to it - it's makeover time at last! And in keeping with Tyra's vague futuristic theme this season, she demonstrates what changes she's proposing through digital morphing on a screen. I don't know about that - I'd rather wait and see how things turn out.

Anywho, there is cutting, there is coloring. Among the highlights (pun intended):

- Everyone loves Heather's hair so much already, that she just gets some gentle highlights and a trim.

- Sarah gets a great shag 'do that makes her look a helluva lot like Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica. Hott.

- As is tradition - we must be educated on weaves. Chantal gets a good one. (More like extensions, really.) Jenah gets stuck with a ratty bad blonde one, poor thing. Poorer thing - Ebony. Her old wig was RUBBER GLUED TO HER HEAD. Yuck!

- Saleisha gets a black Dorothy Hamill bob. It is a nice cut, but I don't think she can work it.

- And then there was Bianca. Y'see, the Alpha Bitch has done so much shit to her hair (magenta color included), that it can't handle what they were planning to do to it. So for her benefit - she's starting fresh, and they shave it almost completely off. Naturally she cries a lot, but here's the thing - it looks fantastic. She has a beautifully shaped head. Embrace that dome, girl! They give her a wig she can wear, but it's quickly apparent that she looks better without it.

Back at the house, Chantal can't stop talking about how great her hair is. Bianca just looks sad. Is the Alpha Bitch breaking down? Will she be built back up? Meanwhile, Victoria muses on how silly modeling can seem with its outrageous outfits. I'll bet she goes far with that attitude!

Later, the girls meet up with Nigel, who introduces his lovely wife, who is a model and makeup artist. They are joined by a rep from Cover Girl which means - makeup challenge! They have to apply a look (dramatic evening), then throw on a dress with their name on it from one of many full racks of clothes. In 3 minutes. And walk the runway. Go!

There is scrambling and the expected bitching over other girls hogging mirror time. They all get it done, but Janet can't locate her designated dress and ends up in another outfit. Then we learn the winner is Sarah - yay! As a prize, she will be part of an instructional video for CG's new online "Makeup Mirror" interactive tool.

Next up, it's time for the photo shoot. This week the girls will each be portraying a flower or plant. It's just a concept, so don't read too much into it. Most of the girls do well with it, despite Victoria feeling that the whole setup is rather ridiculous. The one who has trouble is Chantal. She gets conflicting instructions from OJ and the photographer, and isn't sure how to handle it. So she handles it by...bawling and bitching about it. Y'know, I liked her before, but the whining thing will get old real fast.

Time for panel! There are judges, there are prizes. The guest judge this week is the French photographer, Lionel Deluy. Let's be judgemental!

Ambreal portrays a rose. She's getting the same critique week-to-week - amazingly articulate body, but dead in the face. Perhaps she's more well-suited to a large dance company?

Bianca is starting to come to grips with her bald pate, but doesn't quite come through as a sunflower in her photo. The judges see potential, but she needs to deliver.

Chantal has the easy task of being baby's breath, but instead just looks like Jan Brady on acid. The fact that she blames her poor performance on OJ and Lionel doesn't go over well at all.

The judges go ape over Ebony as a bird of paradise, although I think it's just OK. What's not OK is her continued awkwardness standing before the judges. Tyra demonstrates what she looks like and it's rather funny. But is it sinking in? Why is Ebony acting like a scared child?

Heather wasn't wild about being a weed, but damn if she doesn't rock it anyway. Sure, it's a bit like she's the understudy for Elphaba in Wicked, but she still looks...well...wicked (in a good way).

Janet poses as hydrangea. I don't really like it. It's more trampy than fashion.

Despite the nasty hair weave, Jenah is stunning as moss growing on a tree. I was not big on Bug Eyes the first week, but she certainly is blossoming (pun intended).

Lisa is very strong as bamboo, but the judges aren't quite as impressed as I was. I think they know she's really good, and want her to take it to the next level.

Saleisha is a tulip. But she looks like a very, very sad tulip. The judges are not impressed. Yet Saleisha thinks she did great. Disillusionment is dangerous on this show, girl!

Sarah is not only the challenge winner, but she's one of the judges' favorites as ivy. Nice work!

Victoria is a cactus, and they pounce on her photo. Ms. J points out that her neck is at an angle where it is full of folds. And once again, Victoria goes right for Twiggy, asking how she can improve. Twiggy lays it out - learn some charm, and quit being such a know-it-all! Tyra points out that perhaps Victoria should try to learn a bit from her "elders." And by elders, you know she means Twiggy. Beat her up, Twigs!

The judges deliberate, and you can guess what they're thinking, as they were really vocal this week. We get some extended replays of the great Victoria vs. Twiggy bouts. I still can hardly believe the cheek of that girl.

12 girls, 11 photos. First photo goes to Jenah! Let's get right to the obvious - the bottom two are Victoria and Saleisha. Humbling, isn't it, girls? Step forward.

Saleisha, you have the tools, but you aren't showing you can do it. Victoria, "the judges love your look, they think it's atypical, but the girl who walks into this [judging] room is not very appetizing." And of course the photo goes to Saleisha.

Maybe Victoria learned something, but I'm guessing she's walking around Yale telling people that she confirmed her hypothesis that models are vapid and uninteresting.

Next week - Ambreal is scared of heights!