Hot dogs

We return to the world of high (and some low) fashion, where the Project Runway designers are preparing to meet Heidi. Katie interviews that she's sad Malan had to leave, but she's glad she wasn't eliminated as it wasn't her design. Again, I think she has every right to feel that way.

Heidi emerges to cryptically tell the designers that their next challenge will involve designing around one of the hottest fashion accessories, and that Tim will have further details for them. So mysterious! Will it be a dickey? We won't find out now, because it's time to deal with the models. Up on the block - Kayne's winning model or Malan's loser (who did not in fact where the losing design - that was Katie's model). Kayne channels Nick by staying faithful to his model. So Moon Yung is sent home, and no, she's not related to Woody Allen. Heidi's parting words hint that they will be up early the next day.

And indeed at around 6 a.m. Laura is first to find a note from Tim with instructions on where to meet him in Central Park. During this section we see a few of the designers in bed. It's entirely possible that Michael sleeps in the nude, because he's showing a lot of leg! In an unfortunate turn of events, we see Vincent tossing and turning on his comforter. Ick.

As the designers await Tim's arrival, Laura makes the bizarre guess that maybe it's horses. Yep, because jodhpurs are so hot right now. *eye roll* In fact Tim finally comes in walking 13 little dogs (toy breeds, so they really are little). It's hilarious because Tim looks just a bit nervous or possibly mortified. He explains that the hot accessory now are little dogs (think Paris Hilton). They each will choose a dog to be "a muse" and then design an outfit for their model that is inspired by the dog. But that's not all - they need to do something for the dog as well! Awesome. They all pick dogs pretty quickly, although Laura isn't thrilled as she's not a dog person. Alison and Bradley end up switching dogs, which makes sense because they end up with ones closer to their own personalities - she gets the poodle, he gets the shaggy terrier.

Upon return to Parsons, the designers get 30 minutes to sketch, and take pictures and measurements for their pooches. Tim encourages them to think of a story about who their woman is, and why she has chosen this dog and this outfit. Most notable here is that Robert's little black dog (a Schipperke, I think?) is not at all interested in sitting still. And Laura is exasperated with her Pomeranian which finds her sketchbook to be a great place to stand. From there it's onto Mood, where we see that Robert has picked a pink tweed. Laura says something that Kayne takes as an implication that he has bad taste. We must have missed the comment, because that's not what I heard at all. Methinks the gay doth protest too much.

And now it's time to sew, drape and cut (F1). At this point it's obvious that a few of the designers are getting much more of a hoot out of this challenge than others - Alison is all giggly. And Vincent - well, Vincent has made a little cap for his Yorkie and is clearly insane as he laughs himself silly. Seriously - who stole his medication? But perhaps the only thing crazier is Angela's story for her model. She has decided the woman is an English school mistress who is running an arts summer camp in Paris, and is wearing this outfit for a birthday celebration of the mascot (can't identify the breed - looks like a Pekingnese mix to me). So she's creating these little rosettes out of colored fabrics. To put on...you guessed it...a bubble skirt. HATE. Also we see that Bradley is swimming in indecision - he has decided to scrap his whole concept and start fresh the next day.

So we return the next morning for more F1. This is when we learn that Keith is starting to become a bit of a prick, and in particular is pissing off Laura (and Michael, it appears). It's hard to tell what they're arguing about, but it looks like taking over a sewing machine and/or thread that another designer hasn't finished with. Anyway, whatever the problem is, he's all cocky and jerkfaced about it, so he probably was in the wrong.

When Tim comes in late in the day to check up, as usual we start to figure out the fate of some of the designers. He really likes how Alison is working on a modern cohesive outfit. He thinks that Uli has selected a challenging print, which he didn't like in Mood, but she made it work. With Katie he's concerned that the dress is just too simple. She says that she was thinking about making a hoodie to match, and he quite simply says, "Do that." And of course with Angela, he doesn't get it at all. She tells him that ridiculous story, and he's even more confused. I think he's given up on her (haven't we all?). Tim seems amused by Vincent, who is so clearly into his idea. And then with Bradley, he expresses concern over the top. He basically says - you need to do that over. So once again, Bradley is starting the next day without an outfit or even a clear concept. Oh, and it just happens that it will be his birthday. Wow - did you accidentally dip into the "magic" brownies Mr. Granola? He seriously tells Keith that if he's not proud of his garment, he's inclined to give up and send his model down the runway naked. Now THAT would be interesting. "My story is that she is a nudist, shunning fashion just like her dog."

Day 3, and the designers need to get ready for their models. Bradley? Still doing a mess of F1. In come the models, and Bradley tells his model that he's not sure he has anything ready. She says, "I don't want to go home, either." This seems to spark something in him, making him realize that it's not just his own fate at stake. (I was reminded of how Heather challenged Santino a bit last season.) He sends her off to make-up, and furiously gets something prepared. It turns out he still has the top from yesterday that Tim didn't like, and will be using that. Normally we don't see much in the hair & make-up section, but we do see Alison ask to have her model's hair really high in a big poof.

Runway! Vera Wang is still sitting in for Michael Kors. And the guest judge for no apparent reason is Ivanka Trump, first daughter of NYC. I don't think she looks a bit like her father, which is a good thing. Actually she looks more like Nina Garcia.

First up we have Alison's model with the affore-mentioned tall poofy hair, walking the poodle (get it?). The dress is a modern sleek white cocktail dress, but with a jacket over it that's more business-like (I think it's leather). The poodle has a matching little white leather jacket. It's definitely well done.

Laura has gone with a classic hourglass tweed suit that's a bit more open in the chest area, revealing a simple tan top. The edges of the collar and sleeves are adorned with brown frizzy angora. Her dog has a little tweed wrap and a collar adorned with the same angora. The design comes off well and again demonstrates her style - Upper East Side chic.

Uli's design again shows her taste for a halter dress with a high waist. The fabric is a mix of white, yellow, red, and brown. Also there is a small jacket in brown that looks loose and comfortable. And as a wink to the judges, her pug is wearing a little coat in a giraffe print, with letters stitched on one side that spell out, "Hi ladies." Oh, and the model has a simple headband in the same giraffe print. It's all very cute and extremely wearable. What's impressive is how she really pays attention to the print - which direction it's going in over various parts of the garment. Love!

Robert has a loose-fitting cream top with a tied collar, and a matching tie at the waist. The skirt is a simple miniskirt in the pink tweed. The dog has a simple coat and a bow in her hair using the tweed. I said to Scott it's exactly the kind of thing you'd see Miranda of Sex and the City in.

Michael has gone with a more complex design in a golden fabric, where various straps criss-cross over the chest area, leading down to a form-fitting skirt. Her Yorkie has a simple coat in the same fabric and a clever leash also made of the fabric. It's an interesting look that I enjoyed - perfect for a middle-aged woman that understands good fashion.

Kayne has taken another page from Nick's book by taking a wild colored print (yellow with blue, pink, orange and brown) and turning it into a skirt and matching wide headband. The top is a simple white halter, and a black belt separates them. But to help us forget the Nick inspiration, she also has on a full black raincoat that's lined with the print fabric. The poodle is in the same black vinyl, and has a little tied collar in the print. It's definitely cute, but I still feel like I've seen it before. Of course, he has immunity, so what does he care?

Jeffrey's she-male model has a high-waisted halter dress with a couple colors around the bust (black, brown, silver) and the main dress is 3 folds of a cream-silver fabric. The little Corgi (so cute) has a jacket similarly styled - the cream-silver bordered with the other colors. It's not bad, but not exceptional.

Katie's dress is indeed simple - very pale green with a couple darker layers over the bust, and spaghetti straps. She says that she decided to ditch the hoodie in the final hours. The dog does have a hoodie however in the same celadon green.

I don't quite get Bonnie's look - it's an extremely simple black knee-length dress, but over that is a large white coat in a soft fabric, and her English boxer has a coat in that fabric as well. The model is sporting big platform black boots. The coat comes off almost right away, so then you just see the black dress, to which I was like, "So?"

Bradley's look - *sigh*. Over a plain jersey skirt is a coppery material that is sleveless and shapeless. The little terrier just has a tie around his neck of the jersey fabric. Too bad.

Keith has taken a rich orange and red print and made a halter dress with an interesting scalloped collar that juts out around the neck - sort of Victorian. But the dog? The dog has nothing except his collar. This is because Keith eschews that part of the challenge. Jerkwad.

Vincent - dear lord, it's dumb. Simple black dress (or should I say simpler, it's worse than Bonnie's) over black leggings. LEGGINGS, people. She has a little black cap. The dog is the one in style, sporting a polka dot coat and a white cap. I also note that crazy Vincent appears to be obsessed with sunglasses.

And then Angela's outfit makes me want to vomit. Do I have to describe it? Oh, FINE. It's a grayish shiny halter (the straps lined in a floral print) and a layered purple bubble skirt with all sorts of crazy "flowers" applied to the bottom. The dog is similarly tortured. Someone call the ASPCA!

After tallying, Kayne, Robert, Laura, Michael, Jeffrey, Vincent (really?) and Bonnie are all safe. First the judges address Uli. They also love the use of the print fabric, and ask to see it without the jacket - that's when we see the back has 4 radiating straps in the giraffe print, which is even more impressive. Alison tells them that her story is the woman is a Japanese businesswoman preparing for a work-related trip. What the judges like most is that she didn't just pay attention to the dress and the dog, but also to the hairstyle. With Bradley, Vera Wang says she...likes it? What? Nina actually says "I'd photograph that for Elle." What is going on here? Someone get Michael Kors back to instill some order to the universe! This is what happens when Nina goes unchecked in the presence of The Wang, I guess. Because you now realize this means that Bradley is actually top 3 and not bottom 3. Crazy world...I think this picture of The Wang (which came to me from Pink Is The New Blog) is appropos for the moment:

Katie of course is ripped on for going too simple. They like the doggie hoodie, and wish she'd done something like that for the model. Also Nina notes that the hem looks unfinished. Angela's outfit is of course a hot mess, and they say as much. She tells them that cockamamie story, and Heidi says it's almost worse, because the dress doesn't even match that. But they do say it was constructed well. How can you tell with all the extraneous crap? And then Keith - for you see, Keith is actually now bottom 3, because he did nothing for the dog. He gets into a back-and-forth with Heidi about that. Nina basically says if he's going to dish it out, they'll return in-kind. Heidi then attacks him, saying she recognizes that the dog collar (which he says he created) is in fact just a bracelet off the Macy accessory wall. He says he added a strip of fabric over the closure. WEAK.

The judges deliberate, and although she seems intelligent, Ivanka is pretty much a follower. It's obvious the winner will come down to either Alison or Uli, and either Katie or Angela will go.

The 6 designers return, and Heidi announces the winner of the challenge is...Uli! Hooray! And she will be immune next week. Alison has a bit of the bitchface, so clearly she thought she had it in the (doggie) bag. But she's in, and so is Bradley (happy birthday, indeed). And despite being an ass, Keith's dress was still strong, so he's in. Thus we're left with simple unfinished work from Katie, or "well-tailored" crap from Angela. But clearly the judges hate us and want to burn our retinas a bit longer, because Angela is in. So poor too young Katie is sent packing. Good-bye, Miss Sporty!

Next week - DRAMA. One of the designers is going to be kicked off the show! I've heard a rumor, which I will impart to you. Don't read the next paragraph if you don't want to be (potentially) spoiled!

Word on the street (OK, the internet) is that the photographs that were shown in the affore-mentioned ass' portfolio were not in fact his own and were just duplications of other designers' work. So could it be his bravado is all false and he'll be sent packing? Wait and see!