July 20, 2006

The answer is "world peace"

And so it is time to rejoin the world where taste only sometimes reigns - another episode of Project Runway!

When we last left our designers they were registering no recognition that Stacey had left. Heck, it's not like I even noticed, really. As the designers get ready for their day, you'll note that the apartments have now been redecorated, so clearly the torture of sleeping on exposed bed springs was just temporary.

The designers then gather to meet Heidi and get their assignment for the week. But first it's model selection time. This goes super fast, so I assume there is either no drama with models this season, or they decided it's boring. I guess it kinda was. Anywho, Candace (who modeled for Katie last week) gets the boot.

Heidi tells them that they will be designing for a fashion icon. I'm sure Robert was hoping this would be a repeat of the Barbie challenge, but it turns out that it's Miss USA. I remember when I used to watch those paegeants every year with a fervor. MAN, was I gay. Anywho, I haven't seen them in a long time, so I don't know this woman, but her name is Tara, whom I understand is the second shortest Miss USA ever. The designers will create a dress for Tara, and the winning design will be her dress for the evening gown portion of the Miss Universe paegant. In other words, big stakes! Tara tells them that she's looking for something that's a bit more "red carpet," backless and she'd like to see earth tones - no white.

They then move to the workroom and Tim has them gather to get more details. First, they will each get 30 minutes to sketch and then present their ideas to Tara. She will select half of them, and those folks will each select a partner to work with for the challenge. Early teaming - drama! So they all go off to sketch. But Angela gives herself the early title of Most Annoying by harassing Kayne, saying that she'd love to work with him, blah, blah, she could show him another viewpoint, etc. You will be shocked to hear that this irritated him and made him disinclined to work with her. I should say so.

The designers present their ideas to Tara individually. This all goes fast - Malan has an hourglass figure, Michael calls his "goddess-like", Laura will do something architectual and sleek, Kayne wants the emphasis to be on her instead of the dress. And Angela...oh, she "doesn't sketch." She asks Tara some ridiculous questions, and you can tell that the beauty queen is thinking, "If this was the isolation booth, I would lose my shit."

Tara returns to the workroom and makes her selections - Laura, Jeffrey, Keith, Malan, Vincent, Uli and...Kayne. You could see him sweating a bit. I mean, if he does poorly on this challenge, he might as well go back to Norman, Oklahoma and board up his store! So then it's time to pick partners. Laura is first and picks Michael. Interesting! Jeffrey takes Alison, Uli takes Bonnie, Kayne takes Robert, Keith takes Bradley, Malan takes Katie and that leaves Vincent with Angela. But hilariously he says, "Well I'll be happy to take Alison!" Which is not her name. Cuckoo bird!

Which means it's shoping time at Mood! Hooray! I have no idea why I'm fascinated with shopping at this fabric store, but I am. Like, I kinda want to go in their and take pictures of...bolts of cloth, I guess. Shut up! It's not like it's an unHEALTHY obsession.

And so now it's time for cutting, sewing and holding material up to forms (F1). Malan has a brief interview where he tells a story about how his mother basically threw out his early sketches and told him not to do that anymore. Poor tortured face accent Malan!

As everyone starts to F1, Laura interviews that she chose Michael because she thought working with someone with such a different design aesthetic could challenge her ideas and help her do better. I'm sorry, ma'am - but having rational intelligence on a reality show? You must be in the wrong place. Meanwhile we see that Kayne and Robert are getting along like two queens in a martini bar. But Angela and Vincent? Well, they aren't. Basically he won't listen to her, at all. But also she's not really offering suggestions - just saying she doesn't like the design. I can't really take sides here, I'll just say they are both crazy and suck. At one point Vincent actually says, "I need you to stay 3 feet away from me right now." All the other designers roll their eyes and F1.

The next day it's more of the same - Vincent and Angela bicker, everyone else just F1's. Tim is pretty complimentary all around except for Vincent's dress and Malan's. The feeling is that Malan's design is too heavy and complex. Then it's time to move onto the model fittings. At this point it's revealed that Malan and Katie actually hadn't hemmed the gown yet, so while the model is wearing it, they cut. And they cut it too short. Eek! Katie tries to get Malan to make some changes, but he gently says he won't. Katie then says, "If we're in the bottom group - you have to defend this, then."

Runway! Jeffrey/Alison's dress is awful, I think. It has a simple strap top that's asymmetrically covered by another fabric, and the skirt is a darker brown. It looks like a hot mess. Very patchy - not attractive. Kayne/Robert used a shimmery purple organza that under the lights actually looks earthy. The straps are made of rhinestones for shimmer. My concerns are that it's very form fitting and doesn't seem to move well. Also the bottom is very full and frilly. Still, it's lovely. Keith/Bradley have a simple empire waist gown that I think is incredibly dull. Laura/Michael went very simple - an elegant backless number that's covered in sparkles. It turns out the color was actually nude, but under the lights it looked white, which I think counted against them. Malan/Katie have a one-strap dress that is very full of rugging (sp?) and is very dark brown. I see the concept, but it just doesn't work for a paegant. Uli/Bonnie have a very modern look that to me still harkens back to something Grecian. The neck strap and belt are twisted fabric, while the full skirt opens slightly at the front as the model walks to reveal layers of other earthy shades. I love it. And finally is Vincent/Angela's dress which is in light green with a low V neck and bizarre folded epaulets on the shoulders. It sucks.

The judging panel this week is sans Michael Kors, so Vera Wang is here. WOW! They give Laura/Michael, Keith/Bradley and Jeffrey/Alison a pass onto next week. In the discussion/question period, it's clear that they like Kayne/Robert and Uli/Bonnie's designs. Malan/Katie's is heavy on top and unfinished on the bottom (seriously - you can see stringy bits hanging off where it was obviously cut recently). Vincent/Angela's is just off-the-mark. But I'm a little taken aback that they actually like elements of Vincent's design. Eww! Vera Wang, please don't make me lose respect for you. Asked who should take fault for their team, Katie points to Malan. Malan graciously admits that it's his design and his vision, so he would agree. Well, that's nice. But of course Vincent and Angela just point fingers at each other. He calls working with her a nightmare. She says she doesn't want her name attached to that dress. "Your honor, in the case of Crazy vs. Crazy, we find for the plantiff."

The judges deliberate and we return to learn that it is not a double-elimination, thankfully. Robert and Bonnie are both in. And the winner is...Kayne! You know he's going to live off of this fantasy moment for the rest of his jeweled sash life. Uli's design I guess was just a bit too modern, but of course she's still in. Katie is also in, which is good - she didn't want to be eliminated for a design that wasn't hers. Understandable.

So we're left with Malan, Vincent and Angela. And of course the next in is M...wha? Vincent? Wow - those judges sure do like their crazy. I guess he's there for Jade-type entertainment. At this point we can fully see what Angela is wearing and OH GOD it's hideous. A jean jacket on top, with this big hot pink puffball skirt over black striped tights and huge black orthopedic shoes. I'm screaming at the TV to eliminate her because my eyes are burning! And Heidi says she is o...wha? She's in? Nooooooooooo!!!! That blows! So instead Malan of the face accent and goofy laugh is sent packing. He's very sad, and I'm shocked to discover that I am a little bit also. But mostly because he's not Vincent or Angela.

Next week - the designers are working around a popular fashion accessory. Any guesses as to what it is? Tim Gunn assures us on his podcast that we'll never guess in a million years!

6 comments:

ScottE. said...

I actually am a little bummed that Mulan is gone as well. I love the nude sparkly dress...but it did look white. good for kanye!

DC Food Blog said...

Spot on review. Hilarious. Mulan kind of tugged at my heart with the evil mother story. Vincent is destined for a season on the Surreal Life. By the way, the term for what Malan and Katie did with the top of the dress is ruching.

joyous said...

Malan on the Today show the next morning was quite lovely. I think he realized this was his moment and he blew it. I felt so bad when he said he was ashamed. I secretly in my heart like him. I despise Angela.

Lady Brandenburg said...

I've always liked Malan - he was my favorite personality - and I can't believe he's gone so soon! I really liked him!!!! Dammit!

Dancer in DC said...

THANK YOU for the right spelling. Ruching it is! (You know that it will come up again this season.)

Brunette said...

I kinda had a soft spot in my heart for Malan. Wow - don't know when that happened.

I get such a creepy vibe from Vincent. Like, if they don't get rid of him soon he'll stab somebody while they sleep.

Is it just me, or does this bunch already seem *much* more talented than the yahoos in Season 2?