The Ecstasy and the Agony - Part III

And now we move into the culinary realm of Top Chef. Because Lost runs a bit over, I missed the first couple minutes, but evidently the immunity challenge involved blind taste-and-identify work with some unusual ingredients. Perhaps because her uber-organic self has to branch out into these flavors to keep dishes interesting, Andrea won. What was awesome in this challenge was that one of the ingredients was umeboshi, a Japanese delicacy that's basically pickled plum. It is also the same item that Yaya infamously spit out in front of the director during cycle 3 of Top Model. Good times!

But what was MORE awesome was that they then went home and did a junk food version with Dave squaring off against Miguel. Miguel the man-child won, proving...not much. It was still hilarious.

Pity poor Lee Anne who was paired with Stephen for the elimination challenge. You will not be shocked to learn that he tried to sell food on the street while wearing a suit with an orange tie.

But sadness came at the end. After an odd situation where gender roles got stereotypical (the women tried to be self-sacrificing, while the men let them take the fall), Lisa was booted just because she's lacking in professional experience. Lame! If you think that's a factor, then don't cast amateurs on the show. Farewell, mama - we'll miss you.

The Ecstasy and the Agony - Part II

On Lost this week, we basically had a long mindfuck in which we are led to wonder if Hurley is crazy, if this entire show is all in his mind, or what. I'm firmly in the belief that it's not just Dallas-revisited. But it was compelling nonetheless.

There were some great guest stars this week, including Evan Handler, who was on the show It's Like, You Know..., but in our hearts will always be Charlotte's husband. I wish he was back to being naked on the couch. We also got to see Bruce Davison, whom some of you may know best as the creepy Senator in the X-Men. But to me he'll always be Charlene's preacher that had the hots for Mary Jo.

We also learned a bit more about The Other Formerly Known As Henry Gale. (Rather than call him TOFKAHG, I'm just going to refer to him as the symbol ~.) So basically we find out that ~ is indeed an Other as I surmised - not at all shocking. He spills that not-bearded leader of the Others is in no way the leader, and ~ is terrified of being killed. Alas, we do not get to see Ana Lucia beat the tar out of him a bit.

Hurley beating the tar out of Sawyer was truly awesome. But Sun and Jin laughing about it in the background was awesome-er.

Although the ending wasn't really sad, per se, it was a bit distressing to learn that Libby was a patient in the loony bin where Hurley was! Who is she really, and what are her motives?

I've received intelligence that next week's episode will feature flashbacks of Rose and Bernard, and if it does, I will cry and be in heaven because they are awesome.

The Ecstasy and the Agony - Part I

With so many shows to discuss from last night, I'm going to just break this up into 4 separate posts, particularly to make it easier to comment and not get confused. But there is a definite theme from the night which will carry through in all the posts - truly awesome moments, peppered with things that you will find completely unshocking, capped off by sad endings.

So I begin with the 8 o'clock hour and The Amazing Race. One awesome moment this week came from Michelle of all people. While we had just witnessed Monica whining about being covered in fish and basically being a pill, Michelle marches in and carts her fish with ease and no complaints. Color me surprised! Of course up to this point we'd think it would have been the other way around.

As for how the teams did, a quick rundown:

Eric & Jeremy ended up in first yet again, of course. And they still suck. But they are definitely dumb (the fact that they even wavered about BJ & Tyler's fake list is astounding). And we saw the spark of gayness and future love for the hippies this week. I'm waiting for a full on make-out session next time.

Joseph & Monica went from being totally non-threatening to completely irritating in about 2.5 seconds. Here's hoping a new city will revive their niceness - but I won't forget your whining, Monica!

You will be completely (not) shocked to learn that Fran & Barry got lost driving, and then had issues counting. They are like the anti-PSA for AARP.

Ray & Yolanda basically just trucked along and did nothing wrong, although their sense of direction could use a wee bit of help. They really need to take advantage of the next bunching to catch up.

Speaking of which, there was no opportunity for bunching at all this week, which meant that one period of being lost put Dave & Lori in last, unable to catch up. As I calmly waited for the non-elimination, I was DISRAUGHT to find out that they were actually Philiminated. SADNESS! This is unfair! Ditch the hippies and give me the nerds! Who the hell am I supposed to root for now? I guess my love will have to go to Ray & Yolanda, as they have done nothing at all to upset me yet.

I also have to say that the counting heads "challenge" was lame. I'm in favor of clues that actually require some thought, but just walking in a circle counting to 41 is not challenging for a 3rd grader.

Next week I assume will finally be a non-elimination leg, which means we are stuck with these final 6 teams for quite awhile, so get used to it. But they'll be in Greece! ScottE went to Greece. I went to Athens ages ago. I hope they meet the woman who spearheaded their Olympics - she's pretty rockin'.

The Amazing update

(No, this is not what's on our TiVo. No way in hell I'd be taping Emeril.)

First tipped off by TiVo and later the Washington Post Express, I discovered that The Amazing Race has been moved to Wednesdays at 8 ET for the remainder of the season.

That's right folks - your intrepid blogger now has FOUR HOURS of TV that is must-see every Wednesday! My head will explode! And what the hell am I supposed to do on Tuesdays now - knit like Meredith on Grey's Anatomy?

So perhaps it will take me a bit longer for my recap posts, or I'll split them in two or something. In the meantime, a couple tidbits to tide you over.

Check out these guys who are launching a full-scale campaign to get on season 10 of the show. You almost have to root for people who try this hard. I saw their little flyer in Love Cafe.

You can also see more photos from the E&J/B&T drunken gayfest. Caution - the last photo may not be work appropriate, and might actually make you gay.

A whirlwind recap

My faithful readers, at long last I have returned to catch you up on last week's TV. But first let me show you this little picture that ScottE dug up on a gay website. As you can see - something is not-so-straight in the partying ways of TAR's Eric & Jeremy as well as BJ & Tyler. Now I only hope this was taken after the show, because if these guys are all in the final 3, it's gonna be a loooong season.


In Lost this week, we received more information on Locke's backstory, but alas nothing about his legs. We did discover, however that he proposed to Katey Sagal, but she rejected him. My, she's come a long way since Married With Children, hasn't she?

The big revelations came with the hatch. We had a "lockdown" situation in which a map full of so much information it could make your head spin was revealed. (2 links there - check them both out.) The main thing we know - more hatches! Perhaps as many as seven. Also we learned that I was right - Henry Gale is not in fact Henry Gale, but the Evil Guy Formerly Known As Henry Gale. I still say he's an "Other." Not to mention the fact that he seemed to have adequate knowledge to open the blast doors despite what he says.

Over on Top Chef, it was all about quick convenience cooking, whether it was with food you can buy at a gas station, or microwave recipes. It wasn't all that thrilling, although I got a little behind Dave this week. Tiffani was still pretentious, and even though he narrowly escaped elimination, Stephen continued to inform the audience why he was the greatest thing ever in the history of forever. And I continued to blow raspberries at him.

And now for a recap of Top Model, as I know a few of you are not watching, but depend on my snarky commentary for your weekly amusement. Never fear, I'm happy to oblige.

The episode began with the girls having no reaction to Kari leaving whatsoever, which is exactly how I felt. So it was time to move into their training session for the week - learning commercial versus "editorial" modeling. Now I admit I was not really sure what was meant by editorial - just as confused as when Nina Garcia used it to describe a garment made by Santino. A quick search helped me realize that it's merely a way of saying the piece of work (dress, advertisement, etc.) is trying to convey an opinion. Or something. Whatever - basically it boils down to the fact that Janice Dickinson returned to show them which is which. In commercial ads, models should look happy like they've just snorted cocaine. In editorial ads, models should look like they are sexy, but perhaps unaware of it.

The girls then have lunch with Janice. The only moment of significance was that Janice asked Gina who is upsetting her so much, and the reply was (of course) Jade. Janice then called Gina a bitch for ratting out Jade. Harsh! But I didn't care, because Gina's a moron and I hate her.

For the challenge, the girls are at a photo shoot for the Sears catalog. They run from station to station, portraying each of the four seasons while showing off the merchandise. It happens fast and it's hard to tell who does well, but you will be shocked to hear that Nnenna wins yet again. (The prize - all the Sears clothes. Well whoop-di-doo.)

Speaking of Nnenna, we learn this week that she has a controlling boyfriend. He is constantly suspicious that she's flirting with other men. I'm sure you've all met someone like this guy. HATE.

Next the girls go see Tyra backstage between her tapings of her talk show. Does anyone watch that? I assume it sucks, but I was curious. (Why watch that when I could be watching Ellen Degeneres?) Anywho, she asks the girls what they all dream of doing with their lives besides modeling. (Translation - only 1 or 2 of you will actually get work as models, so have some goals!)

At the photo shoot, the girls will each portray an editorial shoot (again, somewhat sexy) of her chosen dream goal that's not modeling. And they will pose with one of 5 half-naked stud models. One of them was slightly beefcake for me, but they all had that "dumb but pretty" model thing going on, so I barely remember them.

Joanie was one of the surprise hits, even though she was portraying "Stay At Home Mom." Leslie also got a hit again this week, portraying Justice in her role as "Lawyer." Hot! Sarah was also hot doing the legal thing.

Jade was trying to work the whole "Too Hot For Teacher" vibe, but I thought her wig was so clearly fake that she appeared to have a mop on her head. Gina was lousy as a fashion designer. Oh, and Nnenna basically made out with her model during the shoot, and gave him a stiffie. You can imagine how well that went over with her boyfriend.

When the girls go to judging panel, they have to strike some commercial and editorial poses in front of the judges. It's all so quick and fake that it just made me laugh. So sad the way these girls are forced to denigrate themselves on camera for my idle amusement.

Anyway, 10 beautiful girls, only 9 photos. The final 2 end up being Gina (of course) and Brooke. You knew Brooke would be after how much screentime she got in the first 10 minutes of the show. I didn't really get why - I guess the judges thought that her "weirdly pretty" thing had worn off. Luckily they instead choose to send Gina packing, and she's so dumb that she probably still thinks she won the show. Sadly this ends the Gina-Jade duality of drama. Who will Jade pick on next?

Phew! I think that catches y'all up. Tonight we return to The Amazing Race, which I'm sure will be a non-elimination leg. And stay tuned for a discussion on recent weeks of Grey's Anatomy, after I watch the episode I have on TiVo.

Also on Thursday - the return of Commander in Chief! Yay! Sure it got moved to another night, but now it doesn't conflict with TAR, which is good! I have nothing but exclamation points to describe it!

(On a sad note, it looks like Showtime will not get Arrested Development, as the creator is bailing. He sucks. I hate him.)