Auf wiedersehen, you crying pile of muslin!

And now, dahlings, I must tell you about one of my favorite shows, which just had its season premiere. So hit the catwalk in your best pair of Pradas - it's Project Runway! For the uninitiated, let me spell it out for you.

Runway features a group of actual fashion designers who haven't "hit it big." So they compete each week in challenges where they create a garment, which is judged, and someone is eliminated each week. The ultimate goal is for the top 3 finalists, who have the opportunity to show their collection during Fashion Week in New York City. And one of those finalists will win all sorts of things, including a boatload of $$$ to start his/her own line. The judges vary, but include stalwarts Michael Kors (fulfilling the bitchy queen quotient) and Nina Garcia of Elle (fulfilling the tough lady with accent quotient). It's all hosted by Heidi Klum (or should I call her Heidi Klum Seal?) with assistance from mentor/advisor Tim Gunn, the silver fox.

This season got off to a rollicking start, as they went through the usual American Idol-type casting calls in four cities, followed by a quick challenge to cut the wheat of 2 from the chaff of the 14 final contestants. They each had to design a garment made with yards of muslin - unbleached cotton. Anyone who's done theater set construction knows about muslin - it's popular to use as a background; you stretch it over a wooden frame, and it's easily painted.

Then came the first "real" challenge, which was divine - the designers were all invited to a party with Heidi, where they were then told they had to design an outfit with only the clothes on their backs. Delicious! The eventual outfits ranged from hot to sublime to tattered to trashy.

The eventual outcome (stop reading now if you don't want to be spoiled)...



...came down to the rags Andrae put together, the outdated rock-n-roll outfit of Kirsten, and Zulema's dress - which showed more ass than a gay porn star. At this point Andrae has a complete breakdown on stage. It was truly laughable - he's bawling his eyes out because...I don't know why. Seriously - does anyone know why? Was he exhausted? Were his jeans the ones given to him by his first lover? Was the shirt the same one his mother brought him home form the hospital as an infant in? Can I remember not to end a setence with a preposition? What for?

Anywho, eventually it was Kirsten that went, because she was unwilling to include her prized Hermes scarf in her design. Amateur. Nick used his little undies - how about that? (Speaking of which - Nick, me, and a changing room. I'm just saying.)

So all this is to say that Runway is a truly great show, and you have to tune in to watch it. You have not lived until you've heard Heidi say in her heavily-accented English, "You ahr eizer een or you ahr owt." Oh, and this season she is waaaaaay pregnant. So catch all the latest in maternity wear. I just know they're going to have a challenge where the models have to wear those fake pregnancy belly things, and the designers have to work around it. I picture one of those stick-thin beauties breaking in half as she walks the runway...

In other news, I'm now hooked on podcasts (thanks, SNU), and one of those (b-Talk) piqued my interest in America's Next Top Model. So I proceeded to watch 3 consecutive hours of reruns on VH1 as a result. And I enjoyed it. Bitches! Tyra is really pretty darn fabulous. Maybe all reality shows should be hosted by supermodels. Survivor...with Naomi Campbell! Go on The Amazing Race...with Rachel Hunter!