Back to Basics

Oy! What a stressful couple of weeks. No need to go into detail, let's just say it's a whole lot of, "Thank goodness THAT'S over."

It's been so busy I haven't been able to keep up with my entertainment either! No movies, no plays, not even an art show. All I've been able to do is catch a bit of basic TV via the wonders of TiVo.

Well, not always a "wonder." I discovered that conscious human input helps make TiVo work better. Case in point - the machine isn't able to anticipate I want a season pass to The Amazing Race if I don't tell it so. And it won't know that CBS + football = consistently late airings. Translation: I have only seen 30 minutes of TAR so far! Sucktitude. So I can't catch you up. Suffice it to say, some couple is awful to each other, and old people don't last long.

Also in reality news, I did try the premiere of Survivor. (What? I told you to tell me not to, and you didn't.) It was totally the same old thing, nothing has changed. Even the sight of a gay crush and men doing yoga in their underwear wasn't enough to keep me watching.

But there is a beacon of hope in the darkness - How I Met Your Mother, which is still very, very funny! Thankfully Ted came to his senses and came around to the idea that New Jersey is a lovely place. In fact, I am proud to say that whenever we go up to the Big Apple, we always stay in the uncrowded pleasant shores of Jersey. Robin going overseas? Unacceptable!

Top Model recap - Isis is gone! Sad. Clark is gone and no one cares. Lauren Brie? Guaranteed that she peaked too early. My pick to win is Sheena. And can I say that this past week's photo shoot was a bizarre concept? At least a couple photos were stunning.

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Project Runway - Kenley is a self-absorbed whiny bitch. And now everyone knows it! I still am going with my original prediction, that Korto wins.

That's enough for now - I'll try to get out of the house more and do something interesting!

The Universal Truths of Reality Shows

First here's an extremely brief recap so you're all caught up on America's Next Top Model and Project Runway.

On Top Model, there was a question if Hannah might be a racist. Maybe she is, but the girls handled it poorly. Eventually Nikeysha's yammering butt was sent home, and Lauren Brie suddenly leaped to the front of the class with a stunning photo.

Then this week the girls had makeovers which were nice, but Elina cried over her big puffy red weave curls. But she rocked the photo shoot, so she's over it. Brittany was nothing more than pretty (according to the judges, to me she was mannish) and was sent home.

Meanwhile at Parson's, two designers were eliminated last week, one of whom was Terri which really threw off my predictions. She also was suddenly a mean, bitter person, so I guess I didn't see that coming. Tanerexia also went home FINALLY. And then this week the designers made over college graduates, and Joe was finally sent home as I predicted.

Anywho, while watching these episodes, I verbalized to ScottE that there are some things that are very predictable on these shows. And he was (I think) impressed when I was proven right. It's like when he predicts how a movie is going to end, and I'm all, "Did you write the script?" So I thought it was time I shared this knowledge with you, gentle readers. Memorize these rules and astound your friends! You'll be a hit at your next TV-watching party.

I am going to focus mainly on competitive reality shows, as they are what interests me. But if you've found some similar rules for other types, please feel free to share them!

The Universal Truths of Reality Shows

1. The first person to be interviewed in a given episode is going to be either the winner that week or the one to go home.

Some shows are better about this than others. On Runway, for example, they will sometimes throw in other contestants commenting on their fortunes the prior week. But Top Model is the most egregious, and quite predictable with this.

2. Any contestant who laments that he misses his family will be going home to see them the same week.

There are a few sub-truths here. If said contestant calls a member of her family in the same episode, she is toast for sure. Examples for Runway this season - Stella and Joe. If, however, you see multiple contestants missing home, then you can expect a challenge or reward that involves loved ones from home. Survivor is famous for this. You'll also see it happen if The Amazing Race does the "phone your family" thing.

3. If a contestant says something hypocritical, expect the editors to show the evidence in the same episode.

This week's Runway was a good example. Kenley? I'd like you to meet Kettle. Neither of you can translate your style to different looks!

4. The biggest bitch or asshole will do several interviews in which she/he claims that, "I'm not here to make friends."

You can actually see a hilarious compilation clip of this on YouTube.



5. If a contestant has some disease or other sad story, he/she will mention it in an interview at least every other week, even when it's not relevant.

Top Model is famous for that. Like did you know that Heather had Asperger's? Or that Isis was born in the wrong body?

6. Mentioning that you think another player is "hot" or "cute" in an interview guarantees that you will at least make out. And alcohol will probably be involved.

Elina and Clark. 'Nuff said.

7. Karmic payback is guaranteed.

If you screw someone over, it will come to light, and you will get your comeuppance. Example - any team that used the Yield on any recent season of The Amazing Race.

8. Early success means a premature exit.

If a girl is "a natural" the first few weeks of Top Model, her chance of making it to the end is slim at best (watch out, Lauren Brie). Similarly, the winner of the first challenge in Runway is only going to see Bryant Park from across the street. Kelli? Gone. Even Daniel of the nice blue cup dress - gone.

9. There is a yin cast for every yang.

Let's use Big Brother as an example. If there's a gay man in the house, then there will also be a homophobe who may not immediately appear to be thus. Or look at Top Model last week - by having possibly insensitive Hannah, that means we have to have some equally insensitive sistahs. Brittany loves her mom, but Elina hates hers.

10. Forcing people to team up is designed to maximize drama.

Typical of this rule are the Runway team challenges - for every team that has good mojo, another will fight like cats and dogs. The Race has caught onto this trend with their odd Intersection challenges. Even on Top Model last season the girls teamed up to do go-sees with the most dysfunctional girls all together.


So those are the truths - what do you think? Tune in next Wednesday to Top Model and Project Runway, and see if I'm right!

Fall TV Preview

Although the CW got a bit of a jump on the other networks, the fall TV season starts in earnest around the end of the month through early October. So that means it's the time of year for me to look at my weekly viewing plan for new and returning shows. Here's how things look to be shaping up for me after checking out Entertainment Weekly's preview issue.


SUNDAY

This is an easy day to figure out - keep watching animation on Fox. That means The Simpsons, American Dad, Family Guy, and King of the Hill. That means watching The Amazing Race on tape delay at 10, or maybe the other way around depending on how good a season it is (MORE hippies? Not promising.). I also may try a taped viewing of CW's Valentine, where a family of Greek gods live in Los Angeles. I'm a sucker for anything with mythological characters, so it deserves at least one look.


MONDAY

As much as I tried to resist it, The Big Bang Theory really picked up steam with Penny facing off against Sheldon, so I'll keep watching. How I Met Your Mother should really start off strong - imagine all the laughs to be milked from Robin and Barney doing it! HIMYM is definitely the show I'm most looking forward to having back in my life. Although it really tanked last season, I have heard so much talk about a Heroes revitalization that I'm going to give it at least a temporary reprieve. As for CBS's new comedy Worst Week, I think I'll let the jury (i.e. critics and viewers) give it a try first and let me know.


TUESDAY

With nothing at all on my plate for this day, I am going to try the premiere of Fringe. It's the newest drama from J.J. Abrams, which means my chances of liking it are automatically better than even. It may be too creepy/scary for my tastes, but we'll see. Beyond that, I'm holding out for the return of Reaper mid-season.


WEDNESDAY

Project Runway is drawing to a close, and America's Next Top Model is just starting up. On top of those, we'll be taping Pushing Daisies, which is a show I'm sad dropped off our schedule last year. ScottE may yet convince me to start watching Dirty Sexy Money. And perhaps in reruns I'll watch some of The New Adventures of Old Christine, which is usually fun, and has a "marriage of convenience" subplot happening this year.


THURSDAY

NBC's comedies are generally something I'll watch, but catch in reruns if I miss them - The Office especially. Kath & Kim is one that I'll be trying out, because I love Molly Shannon. I also love Niecy Nash, so at least one episode of Do Not Disturb will be on my schedule. I really, really don't want to get back on the Survivor bandwagon (I stopped watching after the first All-Star season), but they are trying to lure me back with the siren song of another season in Africa! Convince me to stay away, people!


FRIDAY

This is never a good night for TV, so I applaud ABC's decision to move Supernanny here. It's just the right show for that slot, because I don't care if I watch it several days late. Fridays are also a good day to catch up on other shows that we've taped (like those from my super-packed Wednesdays).


SATURDAY

If we're home? It's Netflix night.

So that's the plan for me. What will you be watching? What are you most looking forward to? And where on this schedule do you think I've missed the boat?

On a side note, I know I haven't mentioned Lost, which we know won't be back until mid-season at the earliest, as will Battlestar Galactica. They're going to be my "clear everything from my schedule" shows when they do return!

Measuring up this season of Project Runway

With all of the Olympic excitement that's dominated my late summer, I've neglected to do any blogging for Project Runway! And although it may lack some of the big personality of last season, it's nonetheless exciting. Here's a quick rundown of some of my thoughts on the first seven episodes.

Episode 1

It's all about Austin Scarlett! OK, not really, but he's still fabulous. Anywho, this was a rehash of the very first challenge ever on the show. This time my favorite was Daniel's innovative blue plastic cup dress, but kudos to Korto for actually using food.

Episode 2

Having the models do the shopping for this one was a stroke of brilliance. Although I can't stand his (inconsistent) use of the 3rd person singular, Suede definitely impressed with his complex woven gown.

Episode 3

Repeating the photo inspiration challenge is fine by me. The judges were right on to get rid of Emily for her crazy frilly hot mess of a dress. As for a winner, there were a lot of garments that could be in the "love it or hate it" category. Like Kelli's, Stella's, or Terri's designs. I would have gone for one of those, but not Kenley. On a side note - I frakkin' love Stella! She is the leather fashion version of Penny Marshall, and I want her around just for the laughter she brings.


Episode 4

What a great lead-in to the Olympics! The clear winner for me here was Korto. Her outfit was hot, great sportswear, and was believable as something to see in the opening ceremony.

Episode 5

Team challenges are always a bit dicey, because I hate the whole "pit partner against partner" vibe at judging time. That being said, it should have been the perfect time to eliminate Daniel, who had outlived his usefulness. And I also disagree with the judges on a winner - I really thought Jerell and Stella knocked it out of the park.

Episode 6

I love, love, loved this episode! It was the most fun we've seen on the show in a very long time. This reminded me of the coutoure challenge from season 4, where the designers were really asked to do something huge and over the top. And it was a lot of fun because most of the designers were having so much fun with it as well! Although I applaud Joe for his well-chosen outfit, I do think that Terri was robbed on this one. Side note - can we please have RuPaul as a judge every week?

Episode 7

Product placement aside, the Saturn challenge was a real chance to see some innovation from the designers. The top 3 were definitely the best - so my hat is tipped to Jerell's futuristic dress and Korto's fabulous coat. That being said, the deserved winner was Leanne for her giving us an intriguing silhouette in a dress that certainly doesn't appear to be recycled materials. Side note - can we please get rid of Tanerexia (a.k.a. Blayne)? He is, as Leanne so eloquently put it, "barflicious."

And now you're all caught up! As we enter the latter half of the competition, here is how I think things should go to end the series on a high note.

Episode 8

We already know that the challenge is going to involve the uber-fabulous Diane von Furstenburg. I'm thinking this will give a slight edge to the designers that don't shy away from patterns - Kenley and Korto. Blayne should be the next to go. He's been wildly inconsistent, and has yet to deliver a top-notch outfit. Let him go home with his bug eyes and tan himself until he becomes the poster child for melanoma.

Episode 9

At this point we will probably have another team challenge. I'm picturing a disastrous pairing of Kenley and Suede, in which they both cry on the runway (him from some other dead relative, her because she just cries a lot). He will stand by his position as team leader and be eliminated for it.

Episode 10

Kenley will finally get on everyone's nerves enough that they sew her into a straitjacket. Unable to complete her garment, she is out. Tim pretends to care.

Episode 11

A high-fashion challenge with guest judge Donatella Versace really forces the designers to go for broke, but Joe plays it safe with some lame sportswear and is sent packing. He will think it's simply because he's a straight guy. No one really misses him when he's gone, because they realize he's really never designed anything exceptional for a biological woman.

Episode 12

After hoping for the first all-leather challenge in Project Runway history, Stella is dismayed to find that they are instead designing tutus for the New York City Ballet's newest production of Giselle. Stella tries to make a slyph-like design in studded leather, but it causes her model to collapse from heat exhaustion, and Stella shrugs as she's eliminated.


Episode 13

It's really stressful leading up to the final 3, and the designers are challenged to take their inspiration after a guided tour of the Bronx Botanical Garden. Jerell repeats his wide collar from the drag queen challenge in red, taking his cue from an amaryllis. The judges hate to see the same thing again, and after a marathon deliberation, decide to give us the first ever all-female finale!

Episodes 14 & 15

Tim goes to visit our finalists in their hometowns of Little Rock, Portland and Chicago. Terri is already done with all but 2 of her outfits, while Korto has a lot to do and should "make it work." Leanne's family decides to adopt Tim as the family pet.

Back in NYC, the designers are thrown for a loop as they are told that they have to create a final look...for their mothers! They are very stressed, but receive assists from Jerell, Joe and Stella, who help Leanne, Terri and Korto respectively. The guest judge is revealed to be contemporary fashion icon Cate Blanchett. I self-combust.

In the final runway shows, Leanne goes first and presents some unusual shapes and silhouettes that are the mark of a high-fashion show, but her overall collection is disjointed and confuses the judges. After dealing with the drama of a model showing up 5 pounds overwieght, Terri's collection goes off without a hitch. Her designs push the envelope of design for the modern urban woman, and is judged to be both marketable and wearable. Korto presents last, and her collection is full of volume and African influences.

At the final judging, Leanne is told that she did well, but is out. She is, however, elated to hear that Cate will be talking to her about a red carpet dress in the future. And in a 3-1 decision, Korto is crowned the winner of Project Runway. She is happy, but takes it in stride as usual, barely showing enough enthusiasm to be believable. Terri is pissed and makes a bitchface.

So there you go - the whole season wrapped up in a neat package! Any questions?

Project Runway - a look back at the finale

I really didn't have much to say about the finale, which is why I haven't posted sooner. All in all, it was pretty fierce. And totally not a hot mess!

Of the 3 collections, my favorite would be Jillian's. I liked the uniformity of her idea, and that her clothes were very wearable. Also, she totally had Jaslene walking in her show!

But I did admire Christian's artistry. Yes, his work is over-the-top avant-garde, but it certainly leaves an impression. Throughout the season I went from loving him to hating him, and back to loving him. He was so happy to win, and that's cool.

Rami, on the other hand, was just all over the place. I'm not sure what he was trying to do with his collection there were certainly a few pieces that I liked a lot, though.

Now I'm throwing in this picture of Nina Garcia and Heidi Klum, as they just look cute and fabulous!

And if you haven't seen them online, Chris and Sweet P had some fabulous "decoy" shows. In fact, I thought Chris' was so good he could have won the whole thing! He also had a couple Top Model gals in his show - Danielle (cycle 6) and Bianca (cycle 9)!

So in closing, enjoy this clip if you haven't seen it, and let's hope the next season is just as fun!

Team Derailer

When we last left the fashionistas of Project Runway, Carmen was bid adieu for designing an outfit for Tiki Barber that lacked a shirt. A look that would no doubt win him raves at The White Party, but not so much for The Today Show.

In the present, Sweet P secretly is kind of glad that Carmen is gone. Meanwhile, Rami looks adorable lounging in his sleepwear.

Model choice time. Jack does swap his model for Ricky's (bizarre, as I think she's awkward), but doesn't take Marion or Carmen's, so they are sent away. Heidi says that the challenge will be delivered by a familiar face that has old friends. Sweet P (who is fast overtaking Elisa as the resident crazy) thinks they'll be designing for senior citizens. Well, why not? It's about time someone updated the muumuu.

Tim meets the designers in the workroom with the lovely Nina. I don't know why I think she's just endlessly fabulous, but I do. Anywho, she unveils possibly the coolest challenge in ages (kudos to the producers working on them). Nina mentions that over the years, Elle has covered all the latest fashion trends, many of which we can't imagine were ever popular. Each of the designers will pick one of the trends. Then they divide themselves into groups of 3. Each group will come up with a collection of 3 looks, incorporating and modernizing the fashion don'ts of yesteryear. Tim also says that each group must designate a leader (i.e. scapegoat).

The designers sketch for an hour before heading to Mood. Chris' team is Steven and Sweet P. They will work on shoulder pads, dancewear, and baggy sweaters. Jillian's team (wisely selected, I think) is Rami and Kevin. They will work on overalls (which is totally funny, as Jillian is wearing overalls), poodle skirt and 70's flare (i.e. bell bottoms). Ricky's team of Victorya and Elisa will work on underwear as outerwear, neon and cut-outs. Christian's team of Jack and Kit will work with him on pleather, zoot suit and fringe. Sketching! Shopping! In a foreshadowing moment, Sweet P asks Steven if such-and-such fabric would work. Steven says, "No, Chris says it looks like a grandmother's couch." So the question is - did they buy it anyway?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. In the workroom, the teams set to work. Chris says that he's excited for the chance to show that he's more than a costume designer. Meanwhile, Ricky says that he speaks to Elisa in a language he thinks she'll understand - which he equates to modern dance teachers who look like they're high on pot. OK - I know some teachers are weird, but if I thought my instructor was baked, I'd be out of there. Not safe! Towards the end of the day, Jillian is getting concerned about Kevin's pace. On the one hand, I think she's being a bit of a nervous nellie, but I also think she is trying her best to offer calm direction.

To lighten the mood in the workroom, Steven tries a Tim impression. Not bad, but you are no Santino, my friend. Victorya continually talks about her team and offers direction...in other words, she's totally being the team leader. Conversely, Ricky just takes it. So she's a bulldozer, and he's a puss. The models come in for early fittings, which is a rare bonus. Interestingly, Chris' team is basically done. And Sweet P thinks that Steven's garment is the one that stands out. Kevin's problem is that his model is too big. Y'know - a size 2. Victorya decides on the fly to totally change her design. Ricky just looks askance.

He later tries to "confront" her which involves just making small notes, which Victorya passive-aggressively brushes off. Jillian expresses her concerns with Kevin's time management to Rami. He points out that she's got to be firm with him as the team leader. Later, Tim comes in and is happy with Christian's team. But he's not seeing cohesion in Chris' team, and particularly says that his jacket (which looks like a grandmother's couch as bolero jacket with shoulder pads) should be rethought. And he thinks that team Ricky isn't looking finished enough. Victorya jumps in to say, "If I had time, I would have unified the silhouettes." In other words, she's still bullying and totally being team leader. And Ricky bends over. He FINALLY confronts her. They fight passive-aggressively, which is as annoying as you can imagine.

Runway! Heidi introduces the judges, including guest judge Donna Karan. Wow. Big names comin' out!

Team Jillian's looks are very modern, showing bits of each trend in each look. In one look, they turn the poodle skirt into a flared collar to give a unique look. It's all nice.

Chris' jacket is indeed hideous. She looked better without it. Sweet P's is a nice camel number with a big belt and a black turtleneck. Steven's looks just like a sleeveless robe over tights. Lame!

Christian's team emphasized the stripes of a zoot suit to make their looks stand out. It's all great, but Kit's is by far the best, I think. 3 patterns that could clash, but look great.

Team Ricky is a hot mess. Neon pieces that have nothing to do with each other. They all look like they are missing something.

Heidi announces that one team scored so far above the others, that they are immediately declared winners - Team Jillian! Nice for them. I admit I liked her team's overall cohesion best, although I think Kit and Sweet P had the most interesting looks. Team Christian is also in.

Now, I must complain here. Because we spent so much time with the horribly annoying war of Ricky vs. Victorya, we don't get any time to hear the judges talk about the top teams' outfits, or what those designers have to say. It was very disappointing. All we saw was a quick runway look. Boo! But I include my favorites here for you to enjoy.

Anywho, onto the bottom 2 teams. Chris' team isn't showing cohesion. Donna and Nina don't like Steven's and don't see the dancewear inspiration. Donna and Michael love Sweet P's dress (which just about makes the P break down in joy). The concern is that Chris' jacket didn't modernize the shoulder pad look. They pads still look dated.

Ricky's team is called out for having a good start of a concept, but that things don't look finished. Victorya's dress is fit well, and Elisa's is creative. But Nina is not happy that Ricky is yet again showing something so unpolished. Elisa tries to be supportive, bless her heart. And then the Ricky vs. Victorya fiasco is aired, and I'm so over it, let's move on...

Each person has to pick who should go home. It's all how you'd expect. V and Ricky pick each other. Elisa picks herself. Steven says Chris, and Chris agrees. Sweet P goes crazy and gets lashed at by Heidi. She picks Steven.

The judges deliberate, and obviously are just talking about the bad (again, I'm not happy with this). Nina is still really disappointed in Ricky. But what they really can't deal with is Chris' jacket.

Elisa and Sweet P are in. Then Steven and Victorya. Ricky - you are not showing finished work. Chris, your jacket was old-fashioned and ugly. Ricky...is in. Suck! I was so ready to be rid of his whiny ass. Instead cuddle bear Chris is sent back to create new garments of vegetables. We'll miss you, Chris!

Next week - something is off about the models? Jack shares something that makes people weep, which I assume is related to his HIV-positive status. This can't be good!

Tiki in the City

I confess that I'm a little behind on my blogging for Project Runway. So I'm going to attempt a shorter post today to cover the last two episodes. Try to keep up!

OK, so when we last left our new group of designers, Heidi had said "Auf Weidersehen" to Simone, who was sent home for poor time management and also poor taste. Ricky was allowed to cry another day, and Elisa was allowed to continue saying things like "haiku cut," whatever that means.

The designers meet Heidi and get their first chance at picking models. Which appears to be more of a big deal this season considering how many bad models there are. Ricky's model gets sent home. Heidi mentions that the challenge will be big, as they will be meeting a modern fashion icon.

Fast forward to the workroom, where Tim introduces the icon - Sarah Jessica Parker! Oh, how the gays swoon over her. Chris even cries! Then SJP announces the challenge. They will be designing an outfit to go with the new fall line for SJP's company, Bitten. The catch? Her line emphasizes good fashion at an inexpensive price. So the designers will get next to nothing to spend - $15! Eek! Anywho, they each meet with SJP to propose a design, because she'll be picking 7, and then they all will team up.

SJP picks the 7, and I should mention who picks who as partners in case it becomes gossip fodder later. Marion chooses Steven. Ricky takes Jack, and Victorya takes Kevin. Kit picks Chris, and Rami chooses Jillian. Christian chooses Carmen, and then Sweet P is all, "Aw, shit." Yep, because she is stuck being chosen by Elisa.

They go shop at Mood. (Hey, Mood! Missed you!) Work ensues. Most of the teams work well together. But Steven is concerned that he and Marion have far too much to do. And Sweet P is a little freaked as Elisa marks a garment with...chalk? Oh no - that was SPIT! Ick.

So, garments are constructed, and Tim stops by for a visit. He is particularly concerned that Christian's outfit looks too 1980s. Surprisingly, Elisa and Sweet P have found a happy medium. (I believe they rendezvoused on the Moon.)

Runway! Rami and Kit's design are both rather dull in basic black. Ricky's outfit is a bit more interesting in burgundy with an interesting black belt. They are all in. Our top two designs come from Victorya (a gray baby doll dress with an interesting plaid vest) and Elisa, yes, Elisa (a simple turquoise dress covered with a nice woolly gray cape). They both are interesting, but it's not surprising that Victorya's is chosen, as it seems to fit better with what we've seen of the Bitten line.

The bottom two are Christian, who insisted on this ridiculous leather Members Only-type jacket over a turquoise turleneck dress (it's right out of a Robert Palmer video) and Marion. I enjoyed Marion last week, but his problem is that the gray woolly burlap-looking material he selected is not good for a whole dress. In fact, it starts stretching as the model is standing on the runway during judging, and just looks progressively worse. Anywho, Steven is in, as is Carmen with her histrionic crying. And then Marion is out. Too bad - I was ready to dump the little bitchy sister Christian.

As we open on week 3, Jack informs us that he's HIV-positive and has been for 10 years. This has been pretty widely publicized, but I didn't mention it sooner in case you'd think it was a spoiler. In other news, our opening shot is Jack and Kevin in their underwear in the bathroom getting ready. Ahem. Let's just say that's a sandwich I'd be interested in tasting! Anywho, they all go select models, and then are told to meet Tim for their next challenge.

Tim is waiting with Tiki Barber, former NFL star and now a correspondent for the Today Show. The challenge...design him an outfit to wear on the air. Yes! Menswear! I'm still holding out for the maternity wear challenge some day, but this will be exciting.

As you might expect - mass panic. Most of the designers don't usually do menswear, and they all acknowledge that it takes a lot longer to sew. (You can't do a single seam dress like Elisa had in week 1, y'know.) So they go shopping at Mood in extreme agitation.

Slightly controversial moment in the workroom. Jack asks Tim if it is acceptable to use a garment one is currently wearing as the basis for a pattern. Tim says yes, which I think was probably a gift from the producers who knew how tough this challenge would be for everyone. So Jack uses his own shorts, and spends the rest of the day walking around in a muslin sarong, which is funny. But the controversy stems from the fact that he shares that pattern with Victorya and Carmen. Rami and Sweet P both call foul, but Jack calls it "a collaborative pattern." Kit chalks it up to the overall tension. There is all kinds of chaos and improvisation (such as Chris having Rami try on his jacket).

On day 2, the madness continues. It's at this point that we see Christian is extremely fast with a sewing machine, a skill which is an obvious asset at the moment. Tim comes in after a couple hours and announces that he will be bringing them all their models - a huge relief for them, as they really need measurements and a chance to see how the clothes will drape. In come the models. While Kevin makes a point of telling us how he was focused on his work, because he's so straight, Steven (who really has an annoying creepy voice), makes the most hilarious comment. "I'm finally understanding straight guys when they say, 'Oh my God, I can't believe you have all these chicks standing around in their underwear.' OK, fine. You win, guys. I get it." Ha! I mean, most of the models they get don't toot my horn, but I totally know what he means.

Much later in the day, Tim comes back to do his roving evaluations, but brings along Tiki's wife, Ginny. She really only gives positive feedback, so it's not clear what we'll learn. But Tim does have to tell a couple folks that they are going to have time problems (such as Ricky). Ginny saves the one negative comment for Carmen, saying her look is too casual. Carmen's in a bind, as she doesn't have enough fabric to fix it.

As they make final preparations, Ricky actually asks his model to help sew on buttons. Oh good grief. Also, he's crying. Again.

Runway! As you can imagine, a lot of the designs are less than stellar, and most of them had to scale back their plans. What's really bizarre is the choice of shoes in many cases. Anywho, let's just fast-forward to say that Christian, Jillian, Rami, Steven, Victorya, Chris (I really liked his sleek all-black ensemble, actually) and Elisa are all in.

The top 3 are Jack (who managed to do a well-structured contrasting striped shirt over black pants), Kit (who did a more casual black jacket over a white shirt and camel pants) and Kevin (a lavender shirt and dark pants, with a black vest and a purple tie/pocket square). Kevin is in, as his was good but not the most well-made. Jack wins! And Kit is of course in.

With the bottom 3 we have Sweet P (a very messy pale blue shirt with a lousy collar over black pants and with a striped tie), Ricky (a white shirt with a really ill-fitting dark suit) and Carmen (who did a dark coat over khaki pants, but couldn't even manage a shirt - so she sends her model down the runway with a blue scarf covering his chest instead). Sweet P is in. And then Carmen is chosen to be out as she couldn't even do a shirt. Which is too bad, as Ricky is a ball of annoying tearful emotion.

Next week - teams of two again! Prepare for drama with Ricky and Victorya. The claws, they are out!

Pooh-Pooh Platter

Project Runway is back! Let's return to a world of deadlines and hemlines. Let's make it work, people!

Unfortunately this season we don't have much introduction, and just dive right into the designers moving into their apartments. Throughout this sequence we get little interviews where you get to know a bit more about the designers. I'd address them all, but you'd be better served to just read up on their biographies on Bravo's website. To sum it up, these folks are far more accomplished than those in prior seasons. Rami has designed for celebrities. Kevin's had his jeans seen in Victoria's Secret. Carmen is a model turned designer. And Sweet P (a nickname that makes her seem more cutesy than she is) needs the money to restart her career. Oh, also Kevin wants to make very sure you know that he's the lone straight guy this season. He's straight. Did you hear that? Straight! (Ugh, men like that annoy the fuck out of me.) Ricky interviews and starts crying. Already. Good grief!

Anyway, let's get down to brass tacks - the designers get Heidi Mail, saying that they should head to Bryant Park. Wow - everyone gets to show this season? Where's the competition?

Just kidding, they get to the park and meet Tim and Heidi while sipping champagne. Heidi makes sure to mention Tim's new job (he's not at Parsons anymore). And then they present the challenge. Quite simply, they have to design an outfit that best expresses who they are as designers. And they can choose from a lot of expensive fabric which is hidden in 3 tents across the park.

Now, on the one hand this seems like a silly challenge to start with - there's no restrictions, really. But as I thought about it, I wondered if the producers chose to do things this way so that no one could whine that, "The only reason I was eliminated first is because I had to design with aluminum foil." Well anyway, we'll see how this goes.

And they're off! The designers charge across the park and grab fabric desperately, as if this was a Barney's clearance sale. Chris just has to shuffle along, because the man is rather...portly. Rotund, perhaps. Anywho, he isn't complaining, as the one fabric he could see from a distance he wanted is still there. Meanwhile, we learn that Elisa is a bit odd. She is rubbing a fabric on the grass to make it stain. Because she often "imbues fabrics with things from the earth, like tea." Uh...huh...

Next up the designers enter the workroom, and you can feel the excitement. Tim comes in to explain the parameters (they only have about 16 hours), and leaves them with a little "Make it work," to make us all feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The designers set to work, but with 15 of them we don't get much time to focus on any of them. We do see that everyone can tell Elisa is a bit odd (she uses herself as a dress form while sewing a skirt), Sweet P and Simone have time management issues, and the girls think Jack looks hot. Because he kind of is.

Tim comes in midway for his usual checking up. He questions that Christian has made the back of his jacket appear asymmetrical. He loves what Rami is putting together. He also points out that Simone has a lot to get done.

As the designers continue to work, Elisa announces that she's done. The others can't believe her, but she seriously goes into the lounge and takes a nap. Crazy AND lazy! Anywho, they wrap up for the night.

Next morning, we get a gratuitous shot of Jack in his underwear getting dressed. Ahem. His basket overfloweth.

Back in the workroom, the designers scramble to work on details, but to no avail, as Tim announces that the models are here. The models are assigned, and fittings begin. Christian (who is so very full of himself) is glad that his model (Lisa) likes his design. But when she says she sees a lot of great designs around the room, he retorts that he sees a lot of crap. Bitchy McBitcherson, that one.

Runway! Heidi! Michael Kors! Nina Garcia! Ah, it's like I'm putting on a warm cashmere robe. Welcome home! Our guest judge is "big designer" Monique Lhuillier. I think she mostly does wedding dresses? Whatev - on with the show!

Jillian's dress is an orange halter style with a shorter flared bottom. She's included what I believe is her signature - hidden pockets. I like the idea of pockets on a dress as long as they aren't obvious. And here they're not. So, I like this outfit. Simple, but nice.

Christian is mixing an older style with something modern - a puffy jacket in brown and black plaid, with a black ruffle in the front. The bottom is an asymmetrical beige skirt. It's unique, but I'd like it more if it had some real color to it. In something like green or orange it would be veyr striking.

Jack's outfit looks nice, with a split halter top and knee-length skirt which is all white with a black print, edged by turquoise. It definitely is attractive, but I think he relied too much on the fabric print.

Kevin's design bored me. It's a double-layered black and red dress with a silver bodice covering the middle. Also, this should be the time to point out that the models this year are mostly terrible! Where did they find these girls - in line at Burlington Coat Factory? I know I poke fun at Top Model, but any of the girls on there right now could model better than the ones we're seeing now.

Getting back to the runway, Chris' design is chic, with a floor length amethyst fitted skirt, and a wrapped halter in a gold and purple print. Again, simple but lovely.

Marion's design may not have impressed others, but it was one of my favorites because it's different and more daring. It looks like a cross between lingerie and a Butterick pattern. Which sounds bad, but it's not.

Kit puts a red half-bodice (on one side only) over a plain print in black and gray. *snore*

Steven came up with what looks like a nicely tailored black suit accented with a red scarf. It's not very daring, but it's certainly well made.

Carmen has designed something right out of Aladdin. Black Arabian pants are topped by a gold print sleeveless jacket over an orange shirt and some big fugly bow at the neck. It's creative, but I don't love it.

Sweet P's outfit makes no sense to me. It's a shapeless dress in beige print, with red detailing and the top and bottom, and pastel blue/purple straps.

Ricky did a baby doll dress in a silver print. And that's it. Seriously - that's it. I'm so bored with it that I'm afraid drool will start slipping out of the side of my mouth.

Victorya has a layered black mini dress, with a big metallic silver flower at the left breast. But across the upper arms are horizontal straps that basically mean she can't lift her arms. A bit dull, I thought.

And now here comes Elisa's. From the front, it's a lovely turquoise number with one shoulder exposed. I like it...oh wait. Here's the back. It's like a bunch of shredded fabric just sticking out a hole in the back, leading to a long train. Which the model (Lea) trips on. Yuck. It's like a dress that's just half-good.

Simone's is a really dull halter in beige (with a little yellow above it) covered by a little shrug jacket in a metallic print. The jacket is totally discordant with the dress. Not good.

And then we have Rami's dress. It's a glamorous gray dress with many layers - some loose, others flowing. It all meets with a bow at the shoulder. I do like it, even if it's not earth-shattering.

And now the judgments. All but 6 are dismissed, as those others got high enough scores to move on - Carmen, Chris, Jack, Jillian, Kevin, Kit, Marion, Steven, and Sweet P.

The judges comments make it clear that the top 3 are Victorya, Rami and Christian. Michael isn't bothered by the horizontal straps on Victorya's dress, as he knows many women that will squeeze into something painful and impractical if it's beautiful. They actually like the assymetry on the back of Christian's jacket. And they love everything on Rami's dress except the bow, which Michael thinks is a little too precious.

Meanwhile, the bottom 3 are Ricky (for doing something way too easy), Simone (for having a dress that doesn't make sense and looks unfinished) and Elisa (duh).

The judges deliberate. Of note, Heidi wrote down that Elisa's dress looks like it was "pooing fabric." Ha! And also, true.

We return and hear the drumbeats of doom. Yay! I have missed those highly dramatic percussionists. Victorya is in. And now the winner...Rami! Which is nice. Did I mention that he's very, very pretty? You can feel Christian's withering gaze pierce the TV screen, but he's gracious when told he is also in.

Ricky is in. Seriously? I totally would have eliminated him. Anywho, let's talk with the bottom 2. Simone, your design was odd and was poorly constructed. Elisa, you are nuttier than a fruitcake. But for having such a lovely front to her dress, Elisa is spared. Auf weidersehen, Simone. I can't say we'll remember you until you show up at the reunion.

So what was with the lack of creativity this week? I blame it on the openness of the challenge. I've noticed that when I'm dancing in an improvisation piece, the best work seems to come out of scores where we're given a lot of restrictions. Having fewer options forces you to think in new directions. Having a world of options may actually be stifling. So here's hoping next week we're off to a remnant rug sale or something!

Project Runway 4 Fantasy Game

A colleague sent me this link, and I thought it would be a great way to get me right into the new season! You earn points if your chosen team members win challenges, cry, or are told by Tim to "Make it work."

So here are my picks for week 1:



In just a few short hours we'll see how I did!

The Countdown Begins

Perhaps you hadn't heard, but Project Runway's season 4 begins in just a week! Could I BE any more excited? Well, I probably could. Like if I heard that Tim Gunn was going to sit on our couch and watch it with us.

But as that's none too likely, I thought a better way to celebrate would be to look back at what I think are my favorite challenge dresses from the past 3 seasons. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

10. Danny V's orchid-inspired dress, season 2

One of the most truly "high-fashion" outfits ever on the show, Daniel looked at a simple potted orchid in Michael Kors' office and got inspirted. The result was avant-garde and interesting.

9. Chloe's floral dress, season 2

Speaking of plants, Chloe took hundreds of small leaves to make a form-fitting dress with matching bathing cap that almost looks unreal. It's the pain-staking detail that I admire.

8. Austin's corn husk dress, season 1

But the best use of plant matter goes to Austin Scarlett, who took a silly grocery shopping challenge and managed to make a striking statement.

7. Jeffrey's yellow madras couture dress, season 3

OK, y'all know how much I can't stand the guy. But even I had to admit that he came up something bright and fresh in Paris. Although to be fair, it was his model that made the sale.

6. Uli's psychedelic print dress, season 3

She was the queen of patterned material, and she took it to a simple extreme with this peek-a-boo minidress.

5. Kara Saun's wedding dress, season 1

What Kara excelled at was modern elegance with an edge. This stunning low-cut dress with a medium-length train brought tears to her model's eyes, which was the thrust of the challenge.

4. Austin's swimsuit and dress, season 1

The challenge was tough - design a swimsuit that can transfer to eveningwear. Austin took this to an old Hollywood glamour place, bringing to mind Esther Williams in pastels of blue, purple and pink. Costume? Yes. Elegant? Yes.

3. Laura's sweater and suit, season 3

Inspired by Katherine Hepburn, Laura added some modern touches with a high waist and a loose necklace thrown over chic pants and a pink sweater. If only women still dressed like this!

2. Michael's hot pants, season 3

There's a fine line between fashion and hoochie. Michael nailed it on the fashion side with his Pam Grier-inspired outfit in hot pink. It showed enough skin to be sexy, but covered enough to be in good taste.

1. Nick's Barbie dress, season 2

For me, this was the one outfit that showed truly inspired thinking, going to a place I couldn't have even imagined. Taking a 70s stripe print and pairing it with a lime green top and head wrap, Nick created a look that's iconic. Love!

So that's my list - what do you think? What's missing? I'm sure y'all will remind me of something fabulous I forgot.

Tune in for the premiere - next week at 10 pm Eastern!

Coming soon!

And now, thanks to Capitol Hill Barbie, I can confirm that Project Runway will premiere on November 14th!

Also there's a nice spread on the contestants in this week's Entertainment Weekly (print edition).

Oh, and did I mention I'll be seeing Tim Gunn next weekend?

Tee hee!

ZOMG!!!

Woo hoo! The season 4 designers for Project Runway have been announced! I am soooo excited.

Looks like a couple of cuties. And maybe a lesbian?

Anyone want to predict an early favorite?

They Both Reached for the Gunn

Y'know, right about now I'm itching for a little Project Runway. I mean, it's been nearly a year since the tattooed buttwipe debacle, and I've got a craving. A hankering deep in my espadrilles. So the question is, when is it coming? How long is the wait?

According to the news source in this link (click on the this post's title), it won't be until the last quarter of the year. Which means OCTOBER at the earliest. Argh! I need my fix of fashion!

On the bright side (sort of, depending on your perspective), Lost won't be coming back until 2008, so that will at least be one less show for me to be blogging about concurrently.

Heidi, where for art thou?

I'll pass on the poop

This week we had the first part of the Project Runway finale. Not much to report, but I'll at least toss out a few comments.

First we had Tim visiting Michael. Michael is thinking safari, and I'm just thinking he'd better be careful with the prints - it's not his forte'. Also his family is super-cool, supporting him in his dreams. That's almost better than winning the show! ALMOST.

Back in NYC, Tim tried to understand the controlled chaos that is Laura's life. How does Ms. Upper East Side Glamour deal with 5 kids while being pregnant? As well as can be expected. Also, chartreuse is rarely a good color choice in clothing, I have found.

Down in Miami, Uli has a spectacular view, which makes me question if she's secretly nouveau riche. But you can see why she loves Miami so much - it really was quite lovely. Oh, and she's thinking safari, too. Eek!

Jeff's girlfriend/partner is adorable, and so is his son. So why is he such a grouchy jerkwad? Also, he has an enormous studio space to build all his designs. Considering he has all that, one wonders why he hasn't tried to show at Bryant Park before. Also considering he name-drops his famous clients at every opportunity.

At the Macy's workroom, Laura (and to a lesser extent Uli and Michael), is incredulous that Jeff has literally nothing to do except fit his models. She tells Tim as much, and he'll be launching an "investigation." Which I doubt will yield anything - how can you prove that? I would give Laura credit for having the cojones to say it to Jeff's face, but it appears Uli prodded her to do it.

Next week (or rather, tomorrow) is it! The moment we've all been waiting for! The garments I haven't gone to see online in order to keep unspoiled! And according to Tim - surprises...

Delusion is the new black

Ah, the Project Runway reunion. A chance to to revisit old designers, and for them to put their best bitchy attitudes on. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), there is no liquor involved this year to lubricate those attitudes.

Vincent came out looking like a horrible, horrible man. He's trashed on Tim and his fellow designers. Even bloggers like lil' ol' me! And what the hell was up with that laundry meltdown? So apparently he's not just crazy anymore. He's a crazy asshole.

Speaking of asses, let's not forget the conspiracy delusions of Keith. He seriously needs to just quit the crap and try and save whatever scrap of dignity he has left.

Stacey, Katie, Bonnie - remember them? Apparently we shouldn't, as they got so little screentime, you could blink and miss them.

Of course the strength of these reunion specials are the clip montages, which were once again great. Loved Tim's definitions, and those for the designers. ("That dress had such a history of ugly." HA!)

The little part on Malan was great, and I have to say endeared me to him. It is a shame he wasn't on the show longer.

Hooray for Michael being America's choice! This is probably the only time in the history of reality TV that I have actually agreed with America.

I can't believe Angela still thinks her Jubilee Jumbles pile of crap could have been saved. Let's put it this way, Ange - Camilla would have looked more stylish if she'd sauntered down the runway naked.

Next week - part 1 of the finale! Allegations of Jeff cheating! Laura is extremely pregnant! Uli's models aren't showing up! Can my darling Michael win it all, even with his new braces?

And then there were...

True confession: this is just not a week I'm feeling like I can write a full recap of Project Runway. And to be honest, not a whole helluva lot happened, anyway. So instead this time around, I'm just going to cover the highlights, as I'm sure by now you've all seen it!

* Jeffrey insults the other designers. Often.

* Uli coins a new term for patterend fabrics of a certain hippie quality when she says, "It's Uli!" I wonder if you have to fill out paperwork to be referred to only by one name?

* Michael chokes, and loses half a day sketching.

* Uli second-guesses herself, and ultimately pulls off her design in just five hours!

* Laura is feeling the stress. And the hormones.

* There is a brief Father's Day clip intended to make us think that Jeffrey has a heart because of a video message from the spawn of Jeffrey. Not buying it!

* Tim is getting all sentimental on our asses. Aww!

Eventually the dresses come down that are supposed to represent the designers' point of view, but also show something new. Which if you think about it, is sort of a conflict of ideas, but whatever.

Uli and Laura represent their respective views, but Uli does something fresh (i.e. short) and wins. It's Uli! Laura does what she does, and well. Not a surprise, but she's in.

Michael and Jeffrey both go way off-base. The latter does something that's lovely but dull and too "evening wear." Jeffrey does something like Marie-Antoinette-does-the-90's, which isn't lovely and doesn't rock. Who will go home?

During the time it takes Heidi to say something, I feel a shooting pain down my left arm, and I start blinking uncontrollably. Lucky for me, they are both in! All four designers will show in Bryant Park, which is brilliant. I can't wait! An excellent decision by the judges, I'd say.

Next week - reunion! Drunken fighting! Who will embarass themselves all to heck this time?

On a side note - I know that pictures of all the final collections are on the internet. NO, I haven't seen them, and NO I don't want to. I like surprises! So don't say anything here, or I'll force you to wear one of Angela's bubble skirts.

Deja Fools

So when we last left our Project Runway designers, they said good-bye to Vincent with very little remorse, as he headed off to go design for Lazy-Boy. And as we tune into Atlas Apartments, Kayne "laments" Vincent's departure, but I believe the Sarcasm Meter is beeping. Meanwhile in the ladies' apartment, Laura is taking the criticsm she received last week pretty hard. Uli does her best to console her roommate.

At the runway Heidi pops out to offer...not much. They will find out their next challenge at a party being hosted by L'Oreal. All she'll say is there will be "special guests." You can tell the designers are suspicious, because a "party" has not always been a good situation for them in the past!

The designers head off to the party at a place called "The Pink Elephant," which is a name that requires no further comment. Interestingly, I think this is the same place they had the party last season with Nicky Hilton. Heidi enters, and says it's time to meet the first guest. And to their horror (and mine, and I'm sure yours), in walks Vincent. I start to have nightmare visions that they will be designing for Vincent as their client. "I want something that turns me on." Eww! And the other guest? Angela. To which I say - damn rosettes.

Clearly Angela has no idea what's going on, so Heidi explains. Throughout the season they have hinted that winning challenges would "have a benefit that will be revealed in a future challenge" - and this is it. All designers that won a challenge have the opportunity to return for this week, and if he/she wins, he/she will be back in the game, so to speak. What's interesting from Tim's podcast is that this was always the plan, so technically Keith would have been brought back as well, but due to his rules violation, he wasn't allowed to do so. Anyway, the final point is that three designers will be out after this challenge. So if Vincent or Angela wins (HA!) two of the final five will be out. This is a future too horrific to mention, and there are some really queasy stomachs in the room. Heidi then announces the challenge - create a cocktail dress using only black and white fabrics. Since this puts everyone on the same color palette, the real challenge will be silhouette and styling. Then she sends in the models so they can all reconnect and get drunk in the morning (SCORE!).

In the apartments (I guess they had a pit stop there), Laura and Angela are having a discussion/arguement. Laura points out (quite correctly) that unlike Vincent, Angela did not win an individual challenge. She thinks that "some people" (i.e. herself) could be upset about that. Angela looks all shocked and surprised and disagrees. But whatever, we know that despite her bitchy attitude here, Laura is right that she and Michael are pretty much the main reason Angela won the INC challenge.

Back at the workroom, Tim reiterates the challenge, and adds a final twist - they must use ALL of their fabric in their design. So they really need to plan carefully. Talk about ratcheting up the tension! I kind of hate this twist, honestly. Angela asks the pertinent question - "Do we have to use black AND white?" The answer is yes. Remember that. Anyway, they get 15 minutes to sketch, then it's off to the warm comforts of Mood.

And then it's...F1 time! They cut, they sew, they drape. The first thing is that Vincent discovers that he has half a yard more fabric than he asked for (or so he says). Wow, that just breaks my heart. Except not. You will be shocked to hear that Jeffrey rips on Angela while she's not in the room. Ah, back to old times. Meanwhile, Michael is looking at Kayne's outfit with a worried expression. He tries to offer some advice, but as usual Kayne listens, but doesn't incorporate. It's a little hard to tell at the moment what the issue is, but you'll see later.

Later in the day Tim brings in the models for an intial fitting. The main thing here is that Laura's model (Camilla) is trying to help her make the look younger - it looks like lace on fabric. They talk about changing the sleeves, and what I love here is how Camilla is really trying to help Laura improve the design.

Day 2, and a lot more F1. Not much to say throughout the day, except Laura seems to be getting pretty tired. Tim finally shows up for his critiques, which will mostly consist of asking them how they'll use their extra fabric. Tim responds well to Uli's design, and that she has decided to turn the extra fabric into a large necklace. Tim's definitely fond of what Michael is doing. With Jeffrey there is a question about leggings. LEGGINGS? Pardon me, but isn't this a challenge to design a COCKTAIL dress? Since apparently you've only been to beer bashes, let me spell it out for you Jeff - short, cute, and maybe frilly. Leggings are none of those.

With Vincent, Tim is exasperated, presumably because he thought he'd never have to deal with this freakshow again. He really pushes Vincent on the extra fabric, and Vincent eventually decides he'll do a shawl wrap. With Kayne, we get Tim's Furrowed Brow of Doom. The basic question - where's the white? The design is all black at the moment. Kayne holds up some wimpy trim, which Tim identifies as that - trim, not fabric in the design. Make it work, Kayne!

And then Laura. Although Tim doesn't really offer her any negative criticism, she starts to tear up, saying she "can't sit here designing for the Olsen twins." Well thank goodness, because you'd have a helluva lot of extra fabric. Laura then interviews in what turns into a total meltdown. And let me sum it up - hormones. This poor woman is finishing her first trimester, when a woman's body is raging harder than a Metallica concert. I think the combination of that, exhaustion, challenge stress and the recent criticism from the judges have created a perfect storm in the normally implacable Laura. Buck up, lil' camper!

Collier Strong is back to consult on their hair and makeup looks. It appears Amanda will be sporting purple eye shadow, and Camilla will have some really bright pink cheeks and lips to give a younger look.

Day 3, and a touch of F1. Then finally, it's time for hair and makeup, which we know is a bit more important this time. BUT - there's an issue. Vincent's model (Gia) was in an accident. She'll be OK, but certainly can't walk today. So at the last minute they got...Javi. Javi the she-man. This leads to some rather funny (for me) scenes of muscle-bound Javi trying to squeeze into the dress, breaking the zipper. Vincent feebly tries to sew it shut. And off to the runway!

Heidi introduces the judges, which include designer Zac Posen, who I feel like was a guest judge in a previous season. Michael and Nina are there, so the balance of the universe isn't off. On with the show!

First let's look at Kayne's dress. From the front, it's simple but nice. All in black, it covers her in a form-fitting way from the shoulders part way down the arm and to the knee all in one piece. Simple, but chic. The back is very open, and we see the problem. There is a simple ribbon-like ring of white fabric around the back that just looks arbitrary and odd. Not impressed.

Michael chose to do his dress mostly in white, as the others were focused on black. It's again a one-piece dress from shoulder to knee, but the top is asymmetrical, so it's an off-the-shoulder look on one side. Across the middle is a wide black belt with some detailing on it. Nazri is sporting huge hoop earrings, and carrying an adorable black purse. As usual, Michael has created a look that is hot, hip and "now."

Uli has chosen a print (of course), this time what looks like black and white paisley. The loose-fitting dress is tight in the bodice (there's some interesting construction with black fabric there), and the sleeves hang down the sides to match the length of the dress. They also bell out a bit at the wrist. And over it all is a large necklace that looks like the fabric has been twisted around balls of various sizes.

Laura's dress is babydoll shaped - with mini-cap sleeves and no waist, ending well above the knee. It looks like black lace on top of white fabric. At the bottom the detailing is quite nice - she has woven strips of black fabric that hang loosely below the hem, and there is a lot of shiny beading. It almost looks like the lace pattern is deconstructing into strips. Laura says it reminds her of Josephine Baker style, and I totally get that.

Jeffrey...what the hell? It makes no sense. I'm not sure I can even describe it. It's this print fabric that shifts from white on top to black on the bottom with dots in the middle. It's bunched at the waist with a huge white belt. And below that the (completely detached) black leggings. If anyone showed up to a cocktail party I was hosting like that, I'd tell them the whores walk down K Street at night, so head over there.

And Vincent's dress can go to the same place. The top is a reverse pleating (like a cumberbund) in white, over a far-too short skirt (which I think even on Gia would have been short). The wrap makes no sense and just is there. Heinous.

Angela had a good idea gone bad. The top is a bolero-type hood over a simple black dress. But of course she has put those damn rosettes anywhere she could. They line the trim of the dress in black, and a ton of them in white fill the hood. She looks like the inside of a coffin.

During the judges' comments, they like Laura's and Michael's pretty clearly. With Kayne, where's the white? Although they do like the front. With Jeffrey, it just doesn't make sense - can he do anything that's NOT rock n' roll? Where is the elegance, asks Nina. vincent's dress is called out as being for a streetwalker. Angela - no comment. Uli gets pretty harsh criticism for the length of her sleeves - even if they were shorter, the judges aren't sure it would work. And they really don't like the necklace. As for others and their extra fabric, Laura had just enough and covered her purse in it. Michael had extra, so he lined the purse "several times." Angela just shoved hers in her purse. She says it was to create volume and give it shape, but it's really just a cheap excuse. The fact that they don't really hold them accountable for these things is why I hated that twist. Dumb.

In the deliberations, Michael is once again praised for really considering the whole look from hair to jewelry to fit. They really like that Laura finally (in Nina's words) designed something that wasn't what Laura would wear. With Kayne they like that he listened to them about scaling back - but is it too little too late? Can Jeffrey do anything else? Will Luke marry Laura? Whoops - wrong show!

First up they announce the winner which is...Laura! Hooray! She really was on a roller coaster this week, and I'm pleased she came out of it so well. But that of course means Vincent and Angela will be out, again. Thankfully, for our collective sanity. Michael is in. Now I start to sweat bullets a bit - could my dear Uli be in danger? But no, she is not - she's in too. That leaves Kayne (Where's the white?) and Jeffrey (Me love you long time!). Kayne? You're out. Aww...but it was bound to happen. He gets a nice hug from Jeff, and graciously makes a classy exit. He certainly has nothing to fear, as pageant girls from across the country will be clamoring to his side for years to come.

Next week - the final 3 who will go to Fashion Week are selected! Who will it be? As much as I love her, I'm afraid that Laura's days are numbered. If Jeff pulls out something classy in the next challenge, I expect that will be all it takes to keep him in. Michael is a shoe-in. And despite some small mis-steps, I think the judges want to see what Uli can do with a whole line of prints. But who knows? I also thought Nick would make it last season. Stay tuned!

Question of the week - which of the other designers would you have wanted to see have a hand at this challenge? You can pick from Alison, Bradley, Bonnie, Katie, Stacey, Robert or Keith.

Also, I'd like to give a shout-out to a fun new blog I found written by Capitol Hill Barbie. We share a mutual love for Project Runway, and she writes some great recaps. Best line ever: "Then there is Vincent. First of all, there was so much glue on his dress that horses would be afraid to go near it." Hee! Check out her blog, I'm sure you'll love it like I do.