January 28, 2006

How did Fred Savage become so fucking hot?

Hopefully the title of this post got your attention. But I assure you it's not some blog publicity stunt - that's really my main topic!

So recently I've been watching a new mid-season show on ABC called Crumbs. It's similar to Arrested Development in the sense that it's an unconventional sitcom. There is no laugh track, and it's not just screwball comedy. There's a real degree of sadness and pathos pervading the whole thing.

The basic premise - Jane Curtin plays the mother (P.S. - completely adore her 4evah) finds out that her husband (William Devayne) is cheating on her, and proceeds to try and mow him down with her car. She's sent off to a psychiatric hospital, where she eventually "heals" (and also starts up her own affair with a strapping orderly). All of this hoopla causes Fred Savage (the younger son) to come home and help take care of his mother and possibly leave behind his semi-successful career as a Hollywood screenwriter. Oh, and he's gay but hasn't come out to his family. (Good times.) He comes home and falls back into his childhood pattern of butting heads with his man-whore younger brother (Eddie McClintock), who's the head chef of the family restaurant. And there was another brother who recently died. Hey - I said it was serious at times!

So anywho, in this week's episode, we learn that the father has been training to be a masseur, and is practicing on his son (Fred Savage). This leads to a five-minute scene of Fred topless. And let me say, the man is HOT. Do you hear me? H-O-T. Muscular without being "buff," nice furry chest, strong forearms, and those adorable doe eyes.


Now I ask you - how did this happen? What happened to the annoying pipsqueak on that gosh-awful The Wonder Years? Was he this good-looking when he was on that lame comedy, Working? Is there some special Hollywood spa where men come out looking like Adonis?

In short, watch this show, you might like it. And more importantly, you make get a nice dose of unexpected eye candy. (I will not reveal the near-pornographic thoughts I had about Mr. Savage.)

On a different note, the SNU said I really need to do more bitchy commentary on bad commercials. Agreed.

First off this time I must condemn the most recent Olive Garden commercial. Mother comes in and says, "I'm looking for my date, his shoe might be untied" or some such bullshit. Then she and the hostess laugh as we see it's her young son. LAME! STUPID! And also the kid is with his father, and what self-respecting man wouldn't even tie his fucking kid's shoe?

Next I have to say that I detest the Staples "easy button" campaign. It's been around since before the holidays, and it's never made sense to me. It's as if by pushing this button you will suddenly have all the office supplies you need. BULLSHIT! A colleague got one of these buttons, and all it does is say, "That was easy!" There were no printer catridges falling from the sky. Again, I cry bullshit.

And finally I want to discuss the spawn of Satan who is my nemesis - Baby Bob. I mean, it's a stupid idea. Babies who talk is a concept that's so very 1989. And the stupid "kid" already had a lame TV show (which was cancelled with good reason). Now he's back doing stupid commercials for a very average sandwich company (Quizno's). After watching one of these bits recently, the SNU heard me say something horribly inappropriate about Baby Bob. I won't repeat it here for fear of being condemned to Hell for eternity. But let me sum it up for you - a baby should be adorable like this one, not a spokesinfant for grilled bread.

6 comments:

The Kara said...

J-Lo you are a freakin' riot! I thought the commercials for that show looked funny but haven't watched it yet - now I will totally DVR it. Love the Jane Curtain. Intrigued by the Fred Savage. Also hating on the stupid commercials - I can't wait for Staples to play their fall "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" commercials when the kids go back to school - screw the easy button! SUPER CUTE BAYBAY BTW! And - we must talk about PROJECT RUNWAY soon - is Santino really reformed? I KNEW that fabric looked familiar!

DC Food Blog said...

Hilarious-- I turned on the Fred show and was surprised as well. T and I also cringe at the "i'm dating my 5-year old son" commercial which is abusive of the time of the hostess. "Hey, I'm gonna play some silly mindgame because you have nothing better to do than indulge in my cuteness and my sick and inappropriate feelings towards my child." I'm sure the hostess went home and wrote a WTF! blog entry about this woman's dipsh*t question. And yes, men are dolts. We are unaware and uncaring if a child has needs. -Whatever- J

ScottE. said...

I had to say that I've always had a crush on fred savage...he's always been right along side me in age and I always thought he'd be my best friend with benefits! And now he's all grown up! FUN. But he is married. Yahoo news recently had an article about him hanging out at The Abby in LA with his wife and friends, many of the clients didn't know he was married and would ask if he was gay and he would say he was with his wife and gay friends...but went on to say he was always a little sad that no one ever tried to pick him up!!!! Honey!!!! I wasn't there! Well, who am I kidding, I'd just giggle from the corner.

As for BabyBob! Shame, Shame, Shame! But your reaction was funny as shit!

Stef said...

I, too, hate the Baby Bob. And it makes me cringe that my new chef boyfriend, Dave Lieberman, is in a commercial with him! I don't want cute happy Dave to be a whore for Quizno's!

Crumbs is pretty funny, but the Fred isn't really my type. He looks way too much like a guy I grew up with, who had a pet raccoon in 4th grade. Weird.

Lady Brandenburg said...

Nobody is as cute as Sha-bay-bay, so nobody should even try.

Oscar nomination talk... anyone, anyone?

Oh yes, and P. Runway - Santino is full of it. That last dress looked like hell. I'm so glad orchid-dress won!

Dancer in DC said...

Oscar nomination post is pending - should be up later today or tonight.